I just can't think of a title, feel free to forward this to yourself and add one of your own - 21/02/05

LOCAL NEWS

A father heading home in his car hit his two sons on a motorbike and they were killed. The boys were on a farm bike, not meant to be on the road, aged seven and five. The seven year old was driving (good thing it wasn't a five year old).

Lots of controversy about the NCEA exams, not sure why but seems a lot failed that shouldn't have. There looks to be a witch-hunt brewing over it. Hope it settles down before Rory starts in a couple of years.

Pastor Brian Tamaki, owner of the Destiny Church (the one that had an issue with the Civil Union Bill and wasn't allowed to march over the Harbour Bridge), has been promoted to Bishop. "It is a great surprise, and an honour", said Tamaki, "when I signed my order for promotion, I had no idea I was going to get it." People are wondering how long before he reaches the rank of Pope. Interestingly, I had a conversation with a guy about ten days ago, whose last name is Tamaki. I told him not to be offended if I call him Brian by accident because the guy is in the news so much. "I won't be, he's my brother" he said. "You're joking," said me, being very diplomatic. Ooops. This guy has heaps of brothers, something that seems to be common knowledge to most people other than me.

Additional concern arose about the management of the "Wananga", a Maori-oriented university, Sounds like some very dubious practices are going on including incentives for students like clothes and computers, paying $60,000 to replace light bulbs to family, and some very dodgy courses. The Government is researching what options it has to investigate.

John Howard visited Helen this week. There has been debate about Anzac celebrations and whether John Farnham should sing at it (not sure he should sing anywhere, to be honest).

One father of a girl that died in the bridge crash seemed okay with the whole thing, but another isn't quite so understanding.

It was revealed this week that the number of speeding tickets has trebled, which is scary. I have avoided further tickets since the dreaded black Monday of 2003, and in October I will be "clean" again.

Half of Pt Chev road was closed for a while over the weekend, not sure why, think it might be for stormwater separation. It was chaos as cars were diverted through side roads.

WORLD NEWS

The Iraqi election result was finally published, but nobody seemed too worried or interested.

REAL SPORT

No real sport to report, although registration for soccer began this week, it is starting to get busy making calls in the evenings again.

SPORT

We lost the first ODI against Aussie.

Been a bit of a storm in a teacup over Vinnie Anderson leaving the Warriors, must have been slow news week.

Man Utd beat Everton in the FA Cup, Arsenal had a draw, Fulham lost to Bolton.

Super 12 rugby starts this coming weekend.

MY SAD LIFE

Penny and the lads arrived on Wednesday, with Craig arriving early Sunday morning. Matt's pretty cute, and Ben has matured quite a lot. Our two kids were very good with both of them, and did lots of things with them. I read Matt a Dr Seuss book and you have to wonder what sort of drugs the man was taking when he wrote them. That might end up being Rory's speech topic. On Sunday there was a gathering of people at Mission Bay. They fooled around in the fountain and played in the sand. Rory was too cool to go into the fountain until he was told it was to look after the smaller kids. Tania brought her two girls, the Goodins were there, as was Terry and Philly and a number of others. Ben buried the blue ninja turtle, and an excavation crew was despatched, but it was found without major work.

Went to the flea market with the kids on Sunday. When we stopped for breakfast at a bakery in Avondale, there was a car accident outside. A silly man decided he didn't need to stop coming down Henry Street onto Great North Road and got hit pretty hard by a Bentley (quite a nice Bentley). I think he was pretty badly hurt, he didn't move much, but we didn't stick about, we didn't see it and they didn't need us as witnesses. Was a lesson in stupid driving. Flea market wasn't anywhere near as interesting, although Hannah bought a bracelet that she is going to dismember for the beads.

We met the teacher at Ponsonby Intermediate, and learned a few truths about science fair and the homework diary. Rory wasn't too pleased.

Rory is off to councillor camp this Thursday for two days. They are letting the councillors spend $135 on food for the camp. Rory reckons that will be a lot of V (energy) drinks and 2 minute noodles, then they'll cook the noodles in the V. I don't envy the teachers.

I reckon that seventeen years from now there will be very few cicadas in this area. The cats are eating about four a day. The poor bloody cicadas live in a hole in the ground, as a grub, for seventeen years, come out for a couple of days to mate then die (they cannot eat as adults, it's not much of a lifestyle) and yet Ollie and Pandora are thwarting the plans of many of them. I can't tell if they get them before or after they've done their thing, but it would be pretty rugged to emerge after all that time to end up as cat poo.

Just when I thought it was safe to open the junk mail, I opened an advertising thing the other day to see Kath's smiling face in it. Hannah says it is a nicer photo than the other one (it has to be, Ross isn't in it). Kath says people like companies with a human face (again, that raises the question of why put Ross in it). I am certain that my phizzog would sell less of anything, except for maybe wrinkle cream.

Not sure if I mentioned that I installed an aircon unit in my office. It is getting used in the afternoons when I am in here. It works very well, I was really struggling to work productively in the heat. The weather continues to be pretty good, I think February is when summer really starts here.

Diana got an email from her cousin Jack in Germany, I got a rough summary of it.

Brett is responsible for our house being filled with hideous song as we tried to sing "Twinkle twinkle little star" and the alphabet song at the same time to prove or disprove a theory. It wasn't pretty, and music was not the winner on the day.

No news from Koos yet, but not completely surprised on that one.

Best go do some real work.

UPDATE: I can't believe I used the same title about four weeks apart, terribly unimaginative. Wasn't that funny the first time.

Happy Valentine's Day From NZ - 14/2/05

LOCAL NEWS

They are desperate to keep up with other dull towns in Hamilton. But instead of having a dead baby like Hastings, all they could find was a placenta. Not sure what the police intended to achieve in their investigation. Charge someone with littering? Later it was revealed that it was actually a large blood clot, not even a placenta.

It was revealed that half of the 6500 prison population in NZ were found to be on a benefit. This isn't quite as bad as it sounds, in that the system matches inmates to benefits after they become inmates and then cuts it off. However, due to the Privacy Act it takes a good six weeks to complete the process. Interestingly, they could just do something when sentenced to prison that stops a benefit immediately. It also illustrates my little hobby horse that a high number of people on benefits commit crime (given that 50% of people sent to prison are on benefits). This is absolutely laughable.

Cherie Blair, wife of UK Prime Minister came to NZ and then went to Australia on a speaking tour. Rumour has it that she was charging $330,00 for the week, which is pretty rude for a series of speaking engagements at charity events. Then, she referred to the Nzers at the first speech as Australians, twice. They also reckon she was dull and spent most of the time promoting her book. Charging for charity things is dodgy at best, charging for self-promotion is unforgivable.

Police got a bit of a hard time again this week. This time a 111 call from a woman allegedly raped was told to pop in to the station. Sounds bad, but she was pretty close to the station. One report said she was calling from a mobile four hours after the event, another said the offender was still in the house (sounds like it was someone she knew). All very confused, sounds either bad or a non-event depending on who's side you are on. I think the public needs to wake up to the fact that they get 111 calls for all sorts of bizarre things and lots of crank calls and the service would improve if that stopped or we threw more money at it. Last week there were complaints Police were turning off their radios so couldn't respond to emergency calls whilst they were catching speeding drivers.

A car left a bridge over the Waikato River in Hamilton (through neither of the traditional exits) with five teenagers. Two men will eventually grow out of being teenagers, the other three (women) won't. The age of chivalry is obviously long gone in Hamilton, where the two men took off, nursing their injuries, and left the three women behind.

A young girl was hurt by a golf ball, see Sport for details.

A couple in Invercargill had their bed catch fire due to their electric blanket. Not sure why they are using one in this weather, to be honest.

Our mayor has offended everyone by increasing rates for Auckland City to fund roading when there are three other lots of ratepayers that use the Auckland roads. He then attended Big Gay Out to apologise for offence he had made to the gay community. Some Christians came and protested but got escorted away.

WORLD NEWS

Charles and Camilla are to marry. Part of me feels sorry for them, that they seem to have wanted to be together for thirty years. Another parts wonders whether someone living a life of privilege should be prepared to make some concessions. He is looking old.

A young NZ woman, living in the US, was stabbed and killed in Massachusetts.

The dwarf improved, health-wise, so the Pope is out and about. I do feel sorry for the poor old bugger.

North Korea told the world they have nuclear weapons. Now we can all sleep better at night.

REAL SPORT

Rory's social team played off for third and fourth. At about 8-0 to the other team it wasn't looking good. Rory opened the scoring for his team and the floodgates opened but the final scored was 10-4. The first quarter was hopeless but they slowly got it together. His former coach, Mike, was in the other team and was merciless.

Rory had first practice at school for the season and he was pretty happy.

Enrolment for soccer opens on Wednesday.

SPORT

Northern Districts won the national one day championship final. Good on them.

Man Utd beat Man City 2-0, Chelsea won their game 1-0 over Everton, Liverpool lost 0-2 to Birmingham (not having a good season), Arsenal play tonight.

Swede Niclas Fasth won the NZ golf open after a play-off which included the other guy ricocheting a ball off a spectator's head.

MY SAD LIFE

Went to the pub with Koos on Tuesday night. Ended up in a quiz competition. We came fourth out of 12 teams. We were the smallest team (there were four or five people in most teams, more in some). Koos won the darts which scored us a $20 cocktail that had a kick on it like an angry mule with a headache.

Continue to swim, Rory set a new personal best of 15.16 seconds without a dive. They are making a habit of finding things in the pool, usually earrings.

Koos headed home on Saturday, we await news of the plan. There is an expectation he will get home to a job offer.

Gavin has a birthday today, he is 38.

Penny and children arrive on Wednesday for a week or two. Craig is expected on Saturday.

For Valentine's Day, we went out to lunch (just the four of us) on Sunday. Went to Prego, which was good as always.

The homework has begun, another project this weekend.

Better go, running late.

Never lose sight of your rubber dog poo - 07/02/05

LOCAL NEWS

The political year started on Tuesday with Helen giving a speech about how well they had done and anyone voting for anyone else must be mad. Don Brash then demoted his Social Welfare spokeswoman for not supporting his views on getting people off benefits.

Fog disrupted Wellington Airport for about five days, on and off. Unusual at this time of year, it was chaotic in the lead up to the Sevens tournament.

An MP is to resign after being admitted for alcohol dependence treatment and some drink-driving charges. He's one I've never heard of before.

An article in Time magazine says NZ is being soft on people with child porn. George Hawkins (police minister) seemed to think it was news to him, despite their being given fifty names of offenders in September last year which they've done nothing with.

There was news this week that Australia deports NZ offenders without telling NZ why or what they have done. Nice. So we get these little surprise immigrants that come to NZ and reoffend without anyone keeping an eye on them.

Further rubbing salt into the wound, was news this week that Australian students can take advantage of a loophole to come over to NZ to study and get same treatment as NZers.

Waitangi Day was celebrated yesterday with the usual protests, marches, speeches, and apathy.

The Governor-General has said a few things that refer to the fact that women are not allowed in the front row of services. It sounds like the woman that got into trouble for refusing to move from the front a while back.

I think they found the German, hemlock-drinking, tourists. They were fine and didn't know they were lost. Two Australians crashed into a mountain in a small plane.

There is a cyclone that is hammering the Cook Islands.

Somebody has offended the Council by doing something useful and planting a tree at the top of One Tree Hill which has been treeless for a good few years. Apparently the Council has nearly selected everyone for the committee to decide upon the process for considering what type of tree to plant.

WORLD NEWS

The pope-mounted dwarf was ill this week, but recovered.

No news on an actual winner in the Iraq election.

REAL SPORT

Rory's team played hard but were under the hammer most of the game. The ref was from their team so possibly a bit harder on them than he should be. They had about three goals disallowed, they lost 7-9. It was an exciting game.

SPORT

Mid-week Man Utd beat Arsenal 4-2 at Highbury.

Man Utd beat Birmingham 2-0, Liverpool beat Fulham 3-1, Arsenal beat Villa 3-1.

NZ won the Wellington sevens, third year in a row. They didn't the first couple of years.

The Aussies won the final of the tri-series against the Pakis.

A NZ woman won a professional tournament in NZ, the first time ever I think. Leonie Baker, I think. Not sure if one has ever won a tournament outside NZ either.

MY SAD LIFE

Rory returned to school on Tuesday and went to Rangitoto on a class trip on Wednesday. It felt like the eye of the hurricane waiting for the homework to start arriving. It did on Thursday with something due Friday.

Hannah went to water wise this week. She was sailing in an optimist (so-named because that's what you need to be to get in one) when she capsized. She told us "I capsized my boat in the deep end [of the pacific ocean]". She may be spending too much time in swimming pools. She was unfazed by the experience and got it righted with a little help.

We were told that we had two choices for escorting Hannah to school: a) very early, b) not at all. She finally let Diana come with her this morning.

Gavin is coming right, although is peeling like he has been sunburnt.

Sophie is recovering, also.

We saw Helen on Thursday night.

Koos has been busy interviewing and testing, having a wonderful time. One more week of it then he heads back.

We had a little barbecue with Koos and the usual suspects. A container of glitter got emptied and it was on everybody, it was very pretty, in a non-pretty way. The barbecue did not run out of gas, I didn't get rained on (much), and I used the apron. It was our first barbecue this summer (I fought long and hard, it had to end some time). Hannah was off at a sleepover (there was a boy there, much to her disgust). Rory fooled around with the kids, Thomas was second eldest and there were three girls about 4-5 plus Sasha at nearly 2. He was very good with them.

SIGNS I AM LOSING IT #1

I couldn't find my rubber dog poo on Wednesday. That is probably a sentence you never thought you would see, but it is true. I have problems keeping my cellphone upright for maximum signal strength whilst it is plugged in to power and the earpiece. The power comes in underneath so it can't stand up. The dog poo, being rubber, is quite grippy and comfort-shaped for preventing the phone from falling over. It works quite well, but I shudder to consider the thought processes that led me to try it in the first place. I found it after much searching, and was very relieved.

Well, that about sums it up.

Flag the flag - 31/01/05

LOCAL NEWS

A blocked drain in Hastings turned out to be another baby. It is the second dead baby found in Hastings. I failed to report the outpouring of grief and love for the last baby at it's funeral. Pretty sure they can't be from the same mother, but it is very strange and quite sad. Hastings is not a big place.

A man with a history of attempted escapes from prison, confounded and surprised the prison service by leaving his home without permission. He was under home detention (don't even ask why, it is bizarre) and he even left his monitoring bracelet at home. This is a guy that has a history of violence and kidnapping offences. I really don't get this, what sort of people are they actually keeping in the prison?

A new campaign to change the NZ flag was launched this week with support from a bunch of grey-haired people that bear a striking resemblance to local luminaries such as Dame Cath Tizard and Ian Mune. There is no doubt that the NZ flag is often confused with the Australian and a few others, but the servicemen get all funny and say they fought under the flag. I suppose we could keep the old one for the next World War we attend. Personally, I favour a change but not sure I like the design favoured by a Herald survey.

National Party leader Don Brash launched their election campaign by having a crack at people on welfare. He did make a few valid points, it is just a question of whether he won a few redneck votes more than the votes he will lose from those he offended.

A man locked himself in a Shell station and threatened to blow himself up in Papakura on Wednesday. Not sure why. He didn't. Blow up, that is.

More trouble with German tourists as two disappear in the Hawke's Bay with concerns they have drunk hemlock. No news of where they are yet.

There was a fatal car accident on State Highway 2 at Pukehina (where we stayed for a week). It was a head-on collision. If people can't stay on the correct side of the road they should expect to wake up dead. We had an interesting incident on way home from Algies Bay at Waiwera where a jerk decided he needed to cross the double yellow line to jump the queued traffic, was a real shame he survived.

A small plane with a policeman doing checks for dope growing hit a hill killing both passengers.

An Australian company is circumventing the local law to perform DNA tests for men who want to check they really are the father. One in three are not. Interesting.

WORLD NEWS

The way things were going in Iraq, it looked liked one vote would be enough to win the election. I wonder what the Americans would do if everyone wrote in "Saddam Hussein" on their voting paper in crayon (or perhaps GW Bush, would they export him to Iraq if he was voted in?).

We are still getting astonishing tales of survival and sadness and lack of hygiene in Tsunami-ville. Wake me up when it's over. I heard a Tsunami joke yesterday, it's not surprising they are out there.

News this day that twice as many Australians drive high on marijuana or methamphetamine as those that drive drunk. Police are surprised that people who flout the law regarding controlled substances are willing to then drive under the influence. This is especially ironic given the local view that drunk people are more likely to commit crimes.

REAL SPORT

Rory played for another team and scored two goals and won 11-8. Was a good confidence boost for the boy, I had told him he should be more aggressive and it payed off (by aggressive I mean have a go at getting near the goal and taking a shot).

SPORT

The World XI won the second match, levelling the series and making the thing more interesting. The third match was a low-scoring farce, which NZ won then they played a 10 over match and scored 18 runs per over. Silly.

The poms batted for a draw in the last test against South Africa, winning the series. It is their fourth series win in a row and first in South Africa since the early sixties.

Serena Williams won their girlie singles at Aussie Open, Lleyton Hewitt came second to Marat Safin.

The Pakis beat the Aussies in the ODI on Sunday, first time they've lost a game in this series.

Man Utd, Chelsea, Arsenal, Everton, Southampton, Blackburn, and Newcastle are all through the fourth round of the FA Cup.

MY SAD LIFE

I have had a complaint that I failed to mention I went to the boozer with Gavin while the family was away. It was a pretty tame night but was one of the reasons I did not cook dinner at home.

Hannah and I went to the bead shop on her last day of holiday, we got bits to make bead earrings and came home and made two pairs. She wore one pair to school the next day (and the other pair the next day).

We got a call from Koos saying he will be in Auckland next Monday (today). Nothing like a bit of notice.

Jono has been in Japan (or did I mention that last week?).

Wasn't feeling well this week but still managed to swim.

Gavin has not been well. He had a nasty infection in his teeth and then reacted to the anti-biotic and blew up like a festering purple amorphous lump. He was pretty bad Friday (Diana did the Florence Nightingale thing) but has been improving. I saw him yesterday, he wasn't a bloated lump, but he sure is purple. It's a bit like a scene from Dawn of the Dead.

I heard from Paul G that Paul C has broken a finger (or was it a thumb?) whilst snowboarding.

Sophie the dog, aka Cujo, helped us learn that Karaka berries are poisonous by eating some. She was very unwell but seems to be improving. Karaka berry nuts are edible once cooked and the nut contains a strong alkaloid (in case you are interested). Taro is similar (poisonous until cooked).

Hannah returned to school on Thursday, everything under control. Rory starts tomorrow. He organised a game of laser strike with some friends on Friday (all by himself). It went well, then they walked up to Mcdonalds and used up some free cheeseburger vouchers. Was a remarkable instance of initiative.

Well, that about sums it up for this week. Waitangi Day next Sunday which means we get no day off.