I think I need something really exciting to lead with - 27/02/06

There just isn't anything worthy of being the subject, again. It is disappointing really.

LOCAL NEWS

Bill Clinton visited and was in the news a lot. Yawn.

Government Minister David Benson-Pope has attracted yet more stories of inappropriate behaviour. I think there comes a point when apparent abuse of a position of power becomes a convincing argument for someone to not be in a position of power.

A Chinese couple were bailed after being arrested for manufacturing P (they had enough raw material to make $15 million worth of P) because it was their first offence (in this country). They seem to have disappeared. Wonder how much the bail was set at? If they leave the country, they can't be convicted (I don't think). Interesting concept. Get bailed for first offence and leave before you are convicted in a series of countries.

A list of top ten fine defaulters has been released, some owe more than a million dollars. One wonders why anyone ever pays fines. Also not sure if the worst payers should be considered the top ten. Shouldn't they be the bottom ten?

Former National Party gnome Michelle Boag used the Rescue Helicopter to fetch her passport. She paid them $4000 for the privilege. Quite bizarre. I thought sending a taxi to get it was bad enough.

Two New Zealanders were caught up in an art robbery at a Brazilian museum, but they wee released by the thieves without injury.

Local kids are texting each other about International Wagging Day on 27th March. It hasn't made the news yet but they want it to. I don't know why.

WORLD NEWS

A New Zealand guy has been charged with contributory negligence with the Polish building collapse. Not sure why people managing a building are somehow responsible for the design and build of a building that can't handle a bit of snow.

Iraq seems to have some problems internally. Let's hope GW doesn't offer to help.

REAL SPORT

Rory had three games this weekend. Two were against a Canterbury team that toured Auckland for the weekend.

They won 10-6 in the first game, was 6-6 at one point, but they won fairly easily. Not so easy in the second game, final score 10-9. Rory scored two goals in each game. We watched both the girls games too, they won one and lost the other in extra time, which was very intense and exciting.

The senior school game on Sunday night was not so close, they lost 3-9 to Takapuna. A Takapuna player decided to find out whether Rory dresses to the left or right. Not impressed.

Rory has now scored the first goal for his team in four games in a row. Not that I am counting.

Rory and Hannah have a water polo training camp this coming weekend.

SPORT

Haven't really been paying a lot of attention. I think we won the third ODI, Nathan Astle made a spectacular catch, which I haven't seen. He also scored 118 not out, which is pretty good.

The Blues won their first game in Super 14, just, 21-20 over the Reds. Crusaders won, again, over the Sharks 22-20. The Force are not doing well, lost to Chiefs 9-26, Highlanders beat the Cheetahs and Hurricanes recorded their third win against the Cats 29-16.

I think the winter Olympics are finished today, thank goodness.

Liverpool beat Man City 1-0, poor old Sunderland lost to the Brummies, Chelsea won again. Man Utd beat Wigan 4-0 in the Carling Cup final, not sure what the Carling Cup is, must have been something else before.

MY SAD LIFE

Stopped doing cricket this week and started doing softball. Hannah is in the interschool softball team. Spent Sunday oiling a softball glove and cleaning soccer boots. My uncle Chris has supplied us a glove of Siobhan's (Thanks, Chris, we have two pairs of soccer boots being prepared for you in exchange). We fortuitously had linseed oil in the garage, my hands still smell of it. Interestingly, cloths soaked in linseed oil can spontaneously combust.

We saw Gavin. Three times. In one week. He must be bored. He starts a new old job today.

Diana told Rory to have a shower on Sunday. Then she worked out he hadn't had one since Thursday (due to water polo and cocktail parties). Then Hannah goes "well, actually..," (she hadn't had one since Thursday either).

Paul is continuing to visit open homes, he keeps taking Diana. I am wondering if they are having an affair.

Went mad and sort the garage out a fair bit on Saturday. Brought the box of photos inside. Been sifting through them. Gave Mum a couple. Gave Gavin a few. Paul wanted to burn one from about 1990 I found. Diana wanted to burn lots, so did I. Found lots of Trouble, our first cat, and Turk, my dog.

As part of the Canterbury water polo thing, we had a boy stay with us Friday night, Jay. He was very nice. We didn't see a lot of him because we got home after 9pm and took him back to the pool by 8:15am.

Koos is back from Hong Kong, been back for a week. He leaves for Hong Kong today for two weeks. Julie and Melissa have replaced him with a dog called Lucy. Funny, me and Diana did the same thing with Kelly when Koos left for UK in 1990. We now know two dogs called Lucy (Jacqui's dog is also Lucy).

Hannah has swim sports tomorrow. Rory had athletics last week, did okay (4th in 100m, 2nd in 400m).

Sophie, aka Cujo the killer beagle, is two years old now, so I guess that means she is 14 in people years. I am not sure if she is more or less mature than Rory.

I ordered a new camera, it still isn't here, it's not fair. Was due Friday. Conversation with Jono earlier this week:
Jono: Cool, what sort?
Me: D20.
Jono: What are it's specs?
Me: Dunno, better than Paul's one though.
Jono: Oh right, that's all you need to know.

Interesting thing this week. Diana says to me "Guess what Rory was doing at school today." So I replied, facetiously, "Setting fire to someone's trousers?". I was right. Someone had brought a magnifying glass to school. Then on Sunday morning, Rory asked what time his game was in the afternoon. I said I didn't know, but asked if he was trying to arrange a meeting with the mystery text girl now known as Ciara. He was. That was two from two and he is starting to get scared that I can read his mind. Nothing better than a bit of fear to keep the boy behaving.

The textual relationship continued over the weekend. He still hasn't met her, and she could actually be an African dwarf male aged 78 and living in Dunedin. The house is more peaceful when his phone isn't vibrating every two minutes.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK

It occurred to me that saying "F*&k me" is actually better than saying "Well, I'll be buggered." if you think about it. Most people don't, I will admit (think about it, I mean).

Water Polo begins with a vengeance, and school is properly underway - 20/02/06

A busy week, really.

LOCAL NEWS

A man failed to open his parachute this week. Instructors caught up to him, opened his chute for him (which was impressive if you ask me, must have been quick) but he was DOL (dead on landing). They think he suffered heart attack whilst he was counting "one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, check".

Three Australians were caught with liquid cocaine in Auckland, en route to Australia from South Americas. Haven't heard how Mr Howard feels about these people yet.

The Halberg Sports awards were this week. Michael Campbell won the supreme award. Mel Tonks, rowing coach, won the coaching award but didn't show up (he doesn't approve of them, and to be honest I thoroughly agree). A rowing pair won the team award. I think sports awards and Oscars are stupid. These people get recognition enough without needing more.

A woman was raped in Auckland, then drove one of the rapists to the police station after he fell asleep in the car. Beyond belief but good on her for doing it. They are looking for the other guy, but I assume they know who he is given that his mate is in custody. They have not released a name or description of the man, which is interesting in itself.

There was a murder in sleepy Waihi Beach this weekend. The victim was hit with a paintball gun, but I don't think that was a murder weapon. I wonder, do they call it a manslaughter weapon if it is an accidental death?

The Catholic Church are whinging about C4 playing an episode of Southpark that depicts the virgin Mary. Get over it guys.

The sale of the army's old M113's has fallen through because the US has vetoed it. They could end up as scrap, which would be a crime.

A diamond encrusted gold Rolex sold on trademe for $8300 turned out to be a fake. It had Rolex innards but it was not a Rolex body and strap. Although the gold and diamonds were genuine, they were only worth about $3000. The buyer is a guy I know, Larry, who buys them here and sells them on eBay (and makes a good living out of it).

WORLD NEWS

I have a bit of a problem with Australian PM John Howard. He has come out with two things this week that I see as being mutually exclusive. He has said he doesn’t want our rehabilitated criminal boxer to take part in the Commonwealth Games (yes, that old story again) and yet he says he is going to fight hard to ensure that two Australians don't get their death sentence in Bali for drug tracking carried out. So he wants to continue to punish someone who has served their time, paid their debt to society, etc, but doesn't was to punish people who haven't. Ignoring the whole capital punishment thing, this seems to be a bit like double standards and he seems to think Australian law should apply to foreign nationals in foreign countries and his own nationals in foreign countries.

In a particularly deep and insightful moment, John Howard said the death sentence was a warning to other Australians. I wonder if they need a warning after Schapelle Corby and all her little friends have been in the news, but John thinks they do. I think John Howard has been hanging around GW too much.

As for Mr Cheney, shooting a colleague whilst inebriated is pretty sad.

The mudslide in the Philippines was particularly nasty. The clean-up will take ages.

REAL SPORT

Hannah appears to have joined the school cricket team, which is a surprise. Being a qualified level 1 coach I could offer to help. She did play club for about one season, a very long time ago.

Rory has signed up for the senior water polo team at his school. It is obviously a minor sport, but it is still kind of cool to be at a school ten days and make the senior team. There are two fourth formers in the team, too.

Rory had school swim sports this week. There were three groups, junior, intermediate, and senior. Despite being at the school a week, he was classed as an intermediate. Despite that he won the freestyle final, came second in breaststroke, and was in the winning 4 x 25 freestyle relay team.

Rory played his first Senior game on Sunday, against St Peters. It turned out to be a friendly because St Peters had to find two ring-ins to get seven, although the players didn't find out until the end. St Peters were ahead early in the game, 1-0, then 2-1. Rory scored first goal for Springs, and had another disallowed. Final score was 9-4 to Springs and Rory scored 5. Tom, who is the elder statesmen of Springs Water Polo was playing his last game for the season, he has a knee op on Wednesday that has him out for six months.

Been playing cricket with Hannah and Rory in the back yard, Hannah is trialling for the school cricket team. Finally Hannah and I went down to Walker Park and I bowled for about an hour. I was buggered.

Rory has three games next weekend and they both have a water polo camp the week after.

SPORT

Very big news this week is that the All Whites (New Zealand soccer team) are playing Brazil in Geneva in their warm up for the World Cup (Brazils not NZs).

The All Whites also beat Malaysia 1-0.

The Blues lost again. The Chiefs lost again. Canterbury won again.

New Zealand beat the Windies in the first ODI.

Liverpool knocked Man Utd out of the FA Cup, winning 1-0. Very sad.

I want the winter Olympics to finish, it interferes with breakfast TV. Australia won their first gold with a Canadian that isn't even sure where Australia is. Our curling team is giving everyone else at least one win.

MY SAD LIFE

Hannah got a certificate at assembly at school on Friday, and the headmaster asked her in front of the whole school if she was Rory's sister (which she seemed to think was embarrassing, but it made Rory happy). She is already teacher's pet with her English teacher.

Valentine's Day passed without major incident, other than Hannah getting a card from unwanted suitor Bon.

Despite our son yet again achieving god-like status for his feats in the pool, he is still human. On Friday he managed to spread about a litre of milk and half a litre of coffee over approximately 10% of the kitchen (quite a lot, really). It wasn't pretty.

Not sure if Koos is back from Hong Kong yet.

Did the ultimate geeky thing on Saturday. We went to see the first every Segway Polo game between New Zealand and the US. The thing that was most interesting to me was that Steve Wozniak is in the US team. Steve Wozniak was the inventor of the Apple computer and arguably the closest I would have had to a hero in my late teens. I went and said hello to him, that was cool. The game itself was pretty weird.

Saw Allan and Jacqui twice over the weekend, and Brett once. Bill Clinton and other former luminaries are visiting for some sort of speaking thing. Tickets are about $2000 each. Paul Chambers is escorting one of them, he could get Bill. I hope he doesn't ask him to sign a dry-cleaning ticket.

Allan and Jacqui are going to be quite nomadic in the next few weeks. Jacqui is off to Shanghai for work for a month, then comes back for a week and a half then goes to China for a holiday. The holiday was planned first. Allan is off to Sydney and Newcastle (which is practically Sydney).

Proud parent moment. The phone rang on Thursday night, while Hannah and Diana were out at the filming of an episode of a local dance talent thing. Rory answered. I heard him say "They are out at some f#$king dancing thing" to the person on the phone.". I asked who it was. He goes "Um, which Lisa are you?". He then sheepishly hands the phone to me, it was Julia's Mum, who I don't think I have ever heard say a cross word. He sheepishly passes the phone to me. I apologised and talked about how Hannah was getting to school the next day. Afterwards, Rory said "I thought it was Lisa Bamberger". That didn’t seem like much of a reason. I later spoke to Bambi, told him, he thinks Rory is in for an earful when he sees Lisa B next.

The dance thing Diana and Hannah went to was "So You Think You Can Dance". Hannah knows one of the choreographers and a contestant is from her dance school. They had a lovely time, but me and Rory were happy to miss that.

Diana went house hunting again with Paul, who is yet to find a house that suits.

Rory was having a text orgy with some alleged girl yesterday. Not happy about that. He doesn't even know whether it really is a girl.

Going to go have a lie down now.

One of those weeks, I am afraid - 13/02/06

A lot can happen in a short space of time, this week was one of those weeks. Last Monday, Sandy Stewart drowned at Bayley's Beach. This is north of Glinks Gulley, where Charles has his family bach and where we went with the Goodins. Sandy Stewart was Diana's cousin, and more importantly, brother of Jack Stewart who gets these emails and contributes occasionally. We got a call from Jack on Tuesday morning, just as Hannah was leaving for her first day at Intermediate. The story of his drowning was on the front page of the Herald but we just didn't notice the name. I had never met Sandy, but know Frida, his sister, quite well. I feel I know Jack, too, although we haven't actually met, and I have met one of Sandy's children.

LOCAL NEWS

The same day that Sandy was in the news, Robert Hewitt was presumed drowned off the Kapiti Coast. He was the brother of Nasty Norm Hewitt, ordinary All Black and winner of some dancing show. Then, on Wednesday, he was found alive on a small island, suffering from sunburn and dehydration but otherwise in considerably better shape than they thought. He dominated local news for days afterward.

The coverage continues, finally yesterday Robert was upset by John Banks saying it could be a hoax. Although I think technically Banks said he didn't drift as far as he thought and could have had a rest on a rock or something. As much as I dislike Banks, I am not sure that Hewitt should be considered a national hero.

The public was stunned to hear that police are trialling tasers as offender disabling devices.

There was a discussion of rights of parents to screen embryos to choose gender. Not sure why this is such a problem if abortion is okay.

Nasty air accident in the Manawatu. Two training aircraft came together with student pilots flying solo (but flying duet for a brief period of time). They both died.

The local laughing stock lottery, Big Wednesday, has been running a good ten weeks or more and finally the major prize was struck, having jackpotted to something like 11 million.

Not a good weekend for teenagers slipping into rivers, a 15 yo boy drowned in Hamilton and a 17 yo girl drowned in Wanaka.

Poor Matata, the small township got flooded again, about a year after the last one, with roads and rail being flooded.

Avondale College made the news because they are about to release a website where parents can log in to check their child's attendance, progress with NCEA, and other stuff.

People earning minimum wage have been making noise about it being insufficient, and they had a large meeting to discuss possible action. The bulk of them are Mcdonalds and similar fast food workers, but there are many others.

A man died when struck by a car on State Highway 2, after having to walk home when the driver of the car he was in was done for excessive breath alcohol. His son says police refused to give them a lift. Police say the man refused a lift when offered. He isn't in a position to provide his view. Walking along a road where cars go 100km/h whilst inebriated may be hazardous to your health.

We haven't heard anything about Harmeet Souden for ages. I think he is still alive.

WORLD NEWS

The new species they found in New Guinea were pretty cool.

SPORT

The Super 14 started this weekend. The Blues squandered a 16-3 half time lead to lose 19-37 to the Hurricanes. There were other games too.

Sri Lanka upset the Aussies, winning the first game in the tri-series final. Aussie won the second after scoring something like 365 runs. Not sure when the decider is.

The Winter Olympics are on, not really watching it, but it is stopping me watching my early morning TV.

Liverpool beat Wigan 1-0, Everton beat Blackburn 1-0 despite losing a player in the 9th minute. The big news is that Middlesbrough beat Chelsea 3-0, don’t think Chelsea have lost a game this season, so that is a huge result. Fulham beat West Brom 6-1, and Man Utd got a 3-1 win over Portsmouth.

REAL SPORT

Rory started training for a couple of water polo games against a Christchurch club in a fortnight. Hannah isn't in the girls team but we thought she was too young anyway. Not sure that the team is up to much, but we shall see.

MY SAD LIFE

Hannah's first week at school went well. She isn't in the geek class, which both surprised and disappointed her and us. She has done well so far this week, being 2nd best girl at the beep test (a fitness thing, Brooke was first, she has played in the Sirens a couple of times) and then she and Brooke finished something first and did best in English so got a prize. It is odd seeing her in her Ponsonby uniform.

Rory's week at school started slowly. First there was an hour long powhare, which is like a pc gibberish speech from hell (all in Maori). Two hours first day at school, then three hours, then a whole day Friday. He is going to try out for senior water polo team. I don't think it will be too hard for him to get in.

I went to the rugby on Friday night with Rory, as guests of HP. It was in a nice spot, leather seats and our own beer fridge at the end of the block. Rory was in heaven, drank many carbonated beverages and partook of the free food. I think he even got distracted by the rugby once or twice.

Diana went North on Thursday and stayed up there Thursday night. The service was done by a minister at the grave-side, and the after-match function was at Frida's. A lot of kidneys had a lot of work to do, by the sound of it. Diana got home from Dargaville Friday afternoon. It seemed to go okay, I suppose, at least she made it back in one piece.

It was "Gay Day Out" yesterday, which happens at Coyle Park not far from out house. We had the usual parking problem, massive noise from the music, and a whole heap of strangely-dressed people wandering around the streets. I reckon you could sell "honestly, I am straight" t-shirts to locals on days like that. You don't even want to check your letterbox.

The Goodins arrived on Saturday and we installed new curtains in Hannah and Rory's rooms. Hannah's room is mostly reinstated after the painting. Rory actually put up one curtain himself. Diana disappeared with Paul looking at houses while the curtains went in.

Rory went to the lantern festival with his friend Matt on Sunday night. Came home with a coolie hat, quite happy with himself.

It is Gavin's birthday tomorrow. He will be a year older than he was today.

It is also Valentine's Day tomorrow. Bollocks to that.

Nicola Chambers was admitted to the bar last week. Allan and Jacqui are very proud, I am sure.

Diana said she got an email from Jack, and he is coming over in May. I should get to meet him then.

Today is the first Monday we have had to work for three weeks. Bit of a shock, actually.

Cartoons offend the Islamic world, and the world cringes - 06/02/06

Today is Waitangi Day. The anniversary of the birth of our nation. The Treaty is particularly brief and yet can be studied for weeks in courses as diverse as nursing, teaching, and motorcycle maintenance in this country.

LOCAL NEWS

Politician Pita Sharples said there should be no politics on Waitangi Day. Read the sentence again. Definitely an oxymoron.

Someone drowned at Omaha beach, highly unusual, it is usually pretty tame there.

Some teen hurt himself leaping off a 22 metre rock into the water at Piha.

Eleven people survived a vintage plane crash and still went to the rugby sevens in Wellington.

Bit of a fuss about the treatment of animals at the Whirling Brothers Circus, after a young monkey died.

A Nelson man was arrested for the only murder that ever happened on Norfolk Island four years ago. His family don't believe it, there's a surprise.

A woman was hit in the head by a microlight aircraft. Her husband was the pilot. Hmmmmm. An accident? I think not.

A coroner has blamed over-protective parents for teen suicide, because kids don't get to learn about failure, disappointment, and life's problems until too late. Interesting concept, but bollocks if you ask me.

WORLD NEWS

The Islamic world needs to get a life over those stupid cartoons. We even had a protest march or two here over them. People love Allah more than they love their sons. Funny, they didn't mention their goats, camels, or daughters, not sure where they rank.

New Zealand film director Lee Tamahori was apprehended by police in US after propositioning one in drag. Not a good look. Diana reckons he was researching for a movie about a film director living a secret life, which is apparently not biographical. Now we get news of him leading a double-life. Weirdo.

The ferry sinking in the Persian gulf is another example of the double standards these guys live with. They happily board an overcrowded, top heavy, aging ferry because it is cheap then whinge when it sinks. The families are all grief stricken, as you would expect. But somehow this doesn't really reconcile with shooting into the air at every opportunity.

SPORT

Fiji won the Wellington Sevens.

Chelsea beat Liverpool 2-0, Arsenal beat Birmingham but they are still crap.Man Utd beat Fulham 4-2, Villa beat Middlesbrough 4-0, Everton beat Man City 1-0.

Super 14 starts soon, maybe next weekend. Just doesn't sound right.

REAL SPORT

Rory and possibly Hannah have two one-off water polo games in a couple of weeks, they start training soon.

MY SAD LIFE

The rest of the holiday in Paihia went well. We played quite a lot of tennis, swam a lot. Many days we swam twice and showered twice.

Kath and the kids popped in on their way home from Coopers, they found us in the pool, not much of a surprise. For two days we stayed at the complex we stayed in and didn't go anywhere else.

The biggest day was when we went to a trapeze place. Hannah was keenest, but interest was waning, and Rory wasn't keen, we nearly went kayaking instead. But we took another look and gave it a go. The trapeze was a bit of a non-event. But the high tightrope sparked their interest. It was about five metres up and six metres long. The tried over and over again to get across, but to no avail. Finally, Rory got there. He was very happy, but that didn't stop him. He kept trying. He made it across about 15 times before Hannah finally got there. She looked better than him, but couldn't quite get there. She did it just the once, but she was happy. Rory came off badly, hitting the ropes on the way down. He grazed himself on the upper arm and legs but kept going. Final tally was 17 successful crossings. They both must have climbed the ladder about 60 times or more. Rory said his feet felt like they were on the rope while he was sitting in a chair. They were sore the next day.

After we got home, excitement about new schools built rapidly. Hannah also wore everything in her wardrobe about four times because she had been away from it for a week.

Sunday was the day that Hannah's room got painted. The house was chaos. She also had her friend Bonnie come over and stay the night.

Rory's friend Nick Paine has started school already at Auckland Grammar. He is in E stream, the grade boys academically from A to M or something. Another Nick, Nick Phythian, who was in Rory's water polo team last year, is in D. Something isn't right there. Nick Phythian is a space cadet at best, I have coached him in soccer, and Nick Paine is very clever and was in enrichment class at Ponsonby whilst the other Nick wasn't. Sam, who has been at Grammar a year, said this when we were on camp: "I was talking with these two guys outside the Dean's office. Then I found out they were in M. They seemed quite normal, like they didn't walk into poles or anything." I am not sure that streaming all the way down and listing every boy from top to bottom at the end of the year is such a good idea. Not bad if you are #1, not good if you are #500.

B2 is definitely Maria.

Jono, did you mean to say anything when you replied last week?

So Hannah starts at Ponsonby tomorrow, and Rory starts at Western Springs on Wednesday. A very big week for the kids.