When is a magic bullet something other that a miracle cure? Read on.... - 27/11/06

Been having problems with my internet. Not happy.

LOCAL NEWS

Think I failed to mention that last week Don Brash got an injunction against unnamed John and Jane Doe to prevent distribution of emails that were "stolen" from him. This week we discovered that Nicky Hager, professional troublemaker, had written a book based on them that could not now be published. Interesting situation, not looking great for elements of National party, publication could almost be better than speculation and secrecy.

The previous item, according to the press-release, has nothing to do with his subsequent resignation on Thursday. The new leader is likely to be John Key. If he cocks it up he may be referred to as Don Key. Looks like former leader Bill English will be new deputy.

We had two arrests in the case of the molested Dutch honeymooners, which is very good. Heidi said it did make news over there when it happened but possibly more fuss made here.

The stadium debate raged with votes at Auckland City (yes) and Auckland Regional Council (no). Huge waste of effort.

Bizarre plane crash on Kaipara harbour. Light plan made emergency landing on the beach because of bad weather, stayed the night in a tent, then took off next morning, got about 70m up and then plummeted into the water killing both people on board.

WORLD NEWS

Iraq seem to be increasing the casualty rates, one bombing event (about six bombs) took out about 160 people.

REAL SPORT

Hannah qualified first in high jump for interschool, which was very good, she was very pleased. Interschool athletics isn't until 5th December.

Thursday night Rory's club team played our club B team, wasn't pretty, wasn't fun. Think it was 17-1.

Finals night for water polo and the Sharks team convincingly won their playoff for third 8-1. Hannah scored two goals. The Div 3 Ponsonby team also won their playoff for 3rd so Ponsonby came 3rd in three of the four leagues.

On Saturday Hannah's team played Marist B, they lost 3-6 but did better than they did against Marist C (which was 2-6).

Rory's team also played Marist B boys. Only 1-0 end of first quarter but they won 14-2 in the end. Rory bagged four goals including two breakaways, which he reckons are his first two this season (he scored most from

SPORT

The League final was 12-12 at full time but the Aussies managed to score first in sudden death. Sounds like an exciting game. Kiwis tried pretty hard.

All Blacks thumped Wales 45-10. Aussie beat Scotland 44-15, they needed a win, the Boks beat England 25-14, France edged out the Argies 27-26.

Man Utd were 1-0 up against Chelsea but drew 1-1. Newcastle got a 1-0 win over Portsmouth. Bolton beat Arsenal 3-1, Liverpool beat Man City 1-0.

The Knights were up 1-0 then lost 1-4 to Perth Glory. They are crap.

The Aussies seem unstoppable, the Poms have to survive the final day with five wickets in the first Ashes test.

MY SAD LIFE

It is nephew Ben Tucker's sixth birthday today. Happy birthday Ben.

Forgot to mention that Hannah and I went to the gypsy fair on Saturday. It was wet, in terms of weather and content but Hannah was interested. The rain did not help them at all.

A Magic Bullet arrived in the mail Thursday morning. The kids bought it on trademe. It's a blender. They felt self-actualisation was possible only through the Magic Bullet. It can make an omelette in ten seconds, etc. Almost everything in the fridge, freezer, and pantry, was tested in it within 24 hours. They made so much mess and so much noise, I hate the thing already.

More exciting for Hannah was that Thursday was also the day of the sale she has been waiting for. She has wanted to purchase a set of Nike Air Force Ones (shoes) for a long time. Her birthday haul nearly gave her enough to do so (they cost over $200 here). This sale meant 30% off, a saving of $60 is worthwhile, and Hannah got wind of this about three weeks ago so she was very prepared for it. So she bought the shoes, and some black skinny jeans, and was in heaven with a new school bag as well (long story, Rory's died, needed repair, got replaced, he already decided he was happy with bag he was using, so we exchanged new one for one for Hannah. Told you it was long). Our little material girl was very happy. Got photos of her in the new gear before she went to school on Friday. Clothes maketh the woman, I think they say.

The Magic Bullet was also a source of annoyance, mess, and disruption on Friday and Saturday. By Sunday they had got sick of it (my tolerance ended considerably earlier). I now have fantasies about using any kind of a bullet or perhaps a large mallet on it.

We saw Roger on Saturday, and the rest of the Grants. Interesting revelations from Becky about the dreaded Parahaha valley. Roger and Sonny had proudly posed around the sign they shot with an air rifle during our climb through there in January. One facet of that story they omitted was that their targets included, shall we say less inanimate items? Becky's knee took a hit from an "accidental" discharge. Hmmmmmmm.

Went up to Algies yesterday to visit Judy and Sophie. Dog was better behaved than the children. Maybe we should have taken the Magic Bullet with us (and left it behind).

In the next three weekend we have North Island Intermediate Champs, U14 Playoffs in Auckland and Tauranga, and U14 Nationals in Wellington (as well as Hannah's dance show, rehearsals for which haven't been getting in the way, yet).

That'll do for now, better hit send while I still have a link to the real world.

Hannah is a shot putter and I get an unplanned swim - 20/11/06

LOCAL NEWS

We've had a lot of fuss about a couple of ice bergs floating northward past Dunedin. Helicopter operators have been doing very well flying people out to see it. We've had it auctioned on trademe (the first auction had over 80,000 hits and reached 99 million dollars before administrators pulled it.

A report was released about a constable that wasn't having a good day. He tasered himself, an innocent 16 yo bystander, and then pepper sprayed an innocent woman. Wasn't quite as bad as that sounds, he was attending to a domestic dispute and the offender kept using his family as shields. The officer used the taser five times at the incident. Arrests have been made in both cases.

Another couple of murders in South Auckland over the weekend, ten in five months now. Not making it the place to be.

We continue to hear about the proposed stadium options. Over, and over, and over. Be happy that you are not exposed to it.

A toxic fire at a landfill has had residents evacuated in the Hawkes Bay.

Not sure if I mentioned this but the gun shop owner who shot a machete-wielding assailant in the stomach (he lived) is to face charges. I would sincerely hope that this is just the police going through the motions and not a serious attempt to jail the guy for defending himself and co-workers. No idea what happened to the assailant (in jail terms).

Weather in Wellington not great, heavy rain on a couple of days meant more slips.

Someone is building an indoor glacier near Fox Glacier for those rainy days. Wouldn't a marquee be cheaper?

WORLD NEWS

Tonga erupted into rioting this week. People died in some of the many fires that were lit. The people seem a little pissed with the lack of democracy. Australia and New Zealand have sent some troops to help calm things down. Tourists are still leaving.

Actor Jack Palance died this week, so did Milton Friedman the economist.

OJ Simpson's new "I didn't do it but if I did here is how it would have happened" book and tv interview are beyond the pale. A bizarre combination of celebrity, voyeurism, and exploitation that is wrong on every imaginable level.

The TomKat wedding is slightly worse.

REAL SPORT

I thought we had a quiet weekend for polo but there were eight games, four for Hannah, three for Rory. Hannah also had touch rugby and athletics for school.

Touch rugby was first up. I looked after the girls team. Many were familiar faces in the team. They lost their first two games, 1-2 and 0-1, then had 0-0 draw, then they won their next three games 1-0, 2-1, 3-0. Hannah scored two tries and was pretty good on tackles. She got an MVP award at assembly for her effort (although there were others who also contributed considerably, she was one of the better ones).

Athletics Day was at the track at Mt Smart. Hannah repeated Rory's approach, entered everything but 1500m. She got a 3 (maximum points) in all the field events. She has high jump on Monday at school to find out who goes to inter-school but she came second in shot put so she is going to inter-school anyway (which she is very happy about). She really isn't built like a shot putter.

Friday night polo. Well, I got ejected from the first game - wasn't really fair but the ref (someone we know very well) was being a git so I think my exclamation was justified (all I said was "Aww what???" quite loudly). Rory's Springs team lost 4-5 to Liston. I think he got one goal, didn't see much of second half. Hannah's mixed team were playing top qualifier, loaded with boys (one girl, a 14B club player, the boys make up a large chunk of the club 14B team). It did not help that the best three boys from the team weren't there (so we had three boys in the team and the girls were generally better than all of them. It was very much a losing battle, final score was 0-15. Was a different story when the girls team played Glen Eden straight afterwards. This game was quite a reversal. This was the playoff for 3rd/4th for the season. Although Glen Eden had a couple of very capable players they only had six, so played one short. At first I thought the girls would blow it but they settled down and slowly scored to build a lead. In the end the final score was 8-0, but it did take a while to stretch the lead out. I was very pleased they kept them scoreless, there were a few hairy moments early on. As the coach, I was given a swimming lesson after the game. The girls were very pleased and many of them played their best yet.

Saturday, Hannah's club team were up 2-0 against Marist White then some of them completely lost it and they ended up losing 2-6. It was like a slow motion car accident. Hannah didn't get subbed off, which I didn't notice during the game, she worked exceedingly hard and was probably player of the game. I think many suffered from having big night the previous evening as many of them had played in final and 3/4th playoff the night before.

Sunday, Hannah's club team were first up against Tauranga B. They trailed 0-4 but finally came right and clawed their way back. Final score was 5-6 loss but still better than it looked for a while.

Then Rory's team played against Tauranga B, who I saw hand out a bit of a lesson to the Waitak B team about 14-4. Rory's team were in much better form than last week, they won 15-5. Rory scored the first goal in each of the first three quarters. Lewis, the goalie, scored one from goal and then came out in the fourth quarter (a rare occurrence) and scored three more.

Then Hannah (and another younger sister of a boys team player, Charlotte) played for Western Springs Girls, again, they played Kaipara College. They were down 0-2 but came back to lead 3-2 before the other team equalised, final score was 3-3 draw. Probably the best result so far for them. It was kind of confusing. The team had three Hannahs and two Charlottes.

Rory's school team lost 4-8 to Northcote College.

SPORT

Man Utd came back from 0-1 down against Sheffield U thanks to Rooney to win 2-1. Newcastle looked like they could win against Arsenal but Henry equalised for 1-1. Man City beat Fulham 3-1.

The Argies beat the Italians 23-16. The Boks blew a good lead against England to lose 21-23. Ireland beat Australia 21-6.

The All Blacks beat France 23-11.

Australia beat Great Britain in the last round robin in the League. Now New Zealand plays Australia in the final but the whole thing is a bit bizarre (after New Zealand lost points for playing a foreigner).

MY SAD LIFE

It's been pretty hard to have a life that doesn't require inclusion in the REAL SPORT section this week. I spent the day at the touch tournament on Tuesday, I managed to fit some work in on Wednesday whilst seeing Hannah in some of her athletics on Wednesday. Sunday I went to West Wave three times, so I suppose you could say I spent most of the day at the pool or on the North-western Motorway. Don't get me wrong, I want to be there for the games they play, it is important to them and us. It just makes friends and relatives think we are avoiding them.

Saw Gavin briefly on Wednesday. Saw Paul briefly on Thursday. Gavin and Yana are tying the knot on 1st December. I greatly appreciate that he isn't having a big thing and keeping it simple. In case I haven't mentioned it before, I hate weddings.

It is Judy's birthday on Wednesday.

Thursday marks the third anniversary of Ross Cole's passing.

Better go, got lots of work to do.

Bad weekend for tourists in NZ - 13/11/06

Shops have Christmas decorations out. It's just not right.

LOCAL NEWS

Nasty abduction of Dutch honeymooners which included rape and theft, and being left in Kawakawa (which is offensive enough in itself). Not a great way to increase tourism from that part of Europe (Heidi, I assume you guys heard about it over there?)

A 66 year old Japanese tourist was found dead at the bottom of the steep hill below the gondola in Queenstown. He went missing at dinner in the restaurant up above. No news of what happened yet.

The dodgy weather on Thursday was quite big news. We had lines down all over Auckland and bits of tree scattered on the streets.

A memorial to New Zealand's contribution to England in time of war was dedicated in Hyde Park on the weekend. It includes 16 large pointy knob-ends, six of which light up to represent the Southern Cross (shown in the way it appears on the Australian flag, interesting).

Debate over a new stadium in Auckland for the Rugby World Cup in 2011 continued. The Government confirmed they favour a waterfront stadium being built but lots don't. I suspect this is going to be a topic of news until 2011, I can hardly wait.

The qualifications authority said that it would accept txt language in exams. What a load of rubbish. I have told the kids that it does not matter what is "acceptable" the whole point in an exam is being as sure as you can be that the examiner will understand your answers so that you can be marked fairly. Introducing doubt by using pidgin is nothing short of futile and foolhardy.

Yet another example of pathetic news was a double page spread on Tim Shadbolt's ex-wife telling us what a prick he is in Sunday's paper. That's not news, it's not interesting. I assume there will be a book or something.

WORLD NEWS

The Democrats thumped the Republicans in American mid-term elections. GW may get the message, but Donald Rumsfeld was given the boot. I am not sure GW is capable of understanding even the simplest message hand delivered and written in non-joined-up writing.

Saddam was sentenced to hang. I assume he is appealing, although not sure anyone would find him appealing.

REAL SPORT

We had seven water polo games this weekend, although four were all in the same place on Friday night.

Rory's school team were playing Mt Roskill, and lost 3-7. Rory scored a goal, so he broke the drought.

Hannah's first game was against a team that had to default because they didn't have enough players, so the result didn't really matter. The opposition was also loaded with older kids that were good players. Hannah scored about three goals.

Then Hannah played for Western Springs Girls, against Mt Albert Grammar. They lost about 1-13. I think Hannah has now played for seven different teams this year.

Finally, on Friday night, Hannah's intermediate girls played the top team in a semi-final. They stayed in touch for quite a while, it was 4-4 at the end of the third quarter. Final score was a 4-6 loss but they did very well. Hannah scored once.

Saturday was a game versus Marist for Rory, tough game, Rory's team hadn't played for a fortnight. Rory scored one goal. They lost 4-8 but scored the last three goals so they still have it in there somewhere.

Sunday, Rory went to Millennium for a rematch against Northsport who they beat in the final of the Panpacs. Rory's team was missing four players due to swim meets. They kept it close but lost 5-6, Rory scored 1.

Hannah's team played Mountfort Park, down at Mountfort Park in Manurewa about the same time as Rory's game. Her game was tight to start with 0-0 end of first quarter, but they opened up a lead to win 6-2, good result for them after the towelling last weekend. Hannah did not score but was invaluable as always.

SPORT

Lots of rugby played in Northern hemisphere this weekend. Some interestingly unexpected results, too. England lost to Argentina 18-25 in rugby, Australia beat Italy but 25-18 too but that was not particularly convincing. Ireland gave the Boks a lesson, too, 32-15.

The All Blacks handed the French a little bit of an old-fashioned rogering 47-3. The French played like merde.

The Kiwis beat Great Britain thumping them 34-4.

Chelsea won 4-0 over poor old Watford, better than last week. Wigan beat Charlton 3-2, Man Utd beat Blackburn 1-0, Blackburn really aren't having a good season. Newcastle drew with Man City, 0-0. The Arse whipped Liverpool 3-0, who are not having a good season either. Reading beat Spurs 3-1 after trailing 0-1 earlier.

MY SAD LIFE

On Friday, Paul and I took the kids (and Rory's friend Cassidy) out of school a little early to go to Big Boys Toys. Rory's school had a power cut at 10:30. The rule is that if the power is out for two hours they have to be sent home. Everyone at Western Springs thought they would be going home but the power came back on about 12:25, so there was considerable disappointment. Except Cassidy and Rory, who left at 12:30 anyway. But before that, they were worried that their big afternoon off wasn't going to be quite so exclusive. We had fun at BBT, the boys disappeared. Hannah went to the girls only area. Paul chatted with an ex of Roger's (he runs into them everywhere, Shin, there must be heaps of them).

Rory had school sports dinner (prize giving) on Friday night (which is why their girls team was heavily under strength). Diana took him because I was busy with the girls. Rory got a prize for water polo (surprise) and one for athletics (which really was a surprise). The someone called Rob Clarke got a prize for some unknown reason and Diana and Rory both said "what do you know, there's another Rob Clarke at the school". There wasn't. It was for me. Wallies. At the dinner, Rory's science teacher asked him how Big Boys Toys was. He didn't cope very well with a coherent response, it went something like "Um, I don't know what you mean, fnurgle". It wasn't exactly a state secret, they had told everyone in the class that they were going. I don't think the science teacher was too bothered about Rory skipping class, he got 100% in a test this week (but it was pretty easy).

I was free-forming in the car about how there isn't a hilarious crash unit or a hilarious fraud office (because they have serious ones, that are headed by Sam the Eagle). Rory asked if he needed to go to the serious burns unit (because of his serious sideburns), which was kind of funny.

I loaded new songs on my iPod. You may not think this is news but it is more than two years since this feat has been achieved. Even better, I found out it was a 20Gb not a 10Gb as I previously thought. Loaded some new stuff and ditched some baaaad stuff. As I write this I am listening to good old JS Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D, which was always a favourite of mine (which I think came from Roger via Paul).

Popped in to see my Uncle Chris in Papatoetoe with Mum and Hannah before Hannah's game on Sunday. His dog, Bella, wasn't keen on me but Hannah used a ball throwing thing with her for a while which kept everyone entertained. Also saw Chris Jr, who is currently spending lots of time and money pimping his cars and repairing his motorcycle. He has the spare funds because he isn't paying his parents a lot of rent.

I am compiling a list of things to do over Christmas, jobs around the house mostly. The list is starting to get longer than I would like. To that end I managed to fashion a cover for a sewer inspection thing on Sunday (we had a blockage on Saturday and the plumber had to remove concrete over it to get in there, and I think putting concrete over it again seemed futile if this is likely to reoccur).

It was Helen's birthday on Saturday. It is Nanny's birthday today (84, not out) and Caitlin's (6). Hannah went to Caitlin's party but everyone else went to Rory's Saturday game.

Weather is nice, right now, I can hear some happy birds.
Time for some work.

A big weekend away, some big sporting results, Kathryn hits a big number - 06/11/06

LOCAL NEWS

Guy Fawkes. What a load of bollocks. I hope it is over. Forever.

Last week, some Christchurch inventor showed the press his wonderful methods for filtering water for use in the third world. He demonstrated by filtering raw sewerage and Avon river water and then offering everyone a drink. It all seemed very impressive until this week when we got stories about how all the journalists and cameramen ended up violently ill. The wife of the inventor reckoned that the filter is fine and they got some cross contamination when he didn't wash his hands. Sounds a bit far-fetched but exceedingly embarrassing regardless.

A man who was earning $50,000 a fortnight through multiple identities on the benefit has been caught with $750k in cash buried on his section. The guy is reported to have done the same thing in Australia. Not sure who the stupid party in this is.

Five skydivers left a plane a little sooner than expected when the engine started smoking, the plane crashed in a vineyard. The pilot had to come down the hard way, but was okay. I wonder if they have airbags in small aircraft?

A Northland prisoner faked a heart attack and escaped from the hospital.

Police have found a stash of stun guns held by gangs here. In Aussie they have found RPGs.

Former overpaid talking head, Judy Bailey, released her biography. We had lots of interviews. Nobody cares. Charging people for a book explaining why she felt she was worth $800,000 per year to basically read out loud is beyond the pale. There are not enough words in the dictionary night deluded, pathetic, and ridiculous to adequately describe this. In fact, these people that seem to only give interviews when they've released a book or a film should all realise they are admitting they need a special event to make them interesting.

The Stern Report on Global Warming was a very stern warning and all the puns were over-used. Not sure why things are different now but I am of the firm view that until our economy ceases to demand growth, things can only get worse.

WORLD NEWS

Fiji continues to stagger towards a coup. Laisenia Qarase, the PM, seems in deep water. I shared a room with him in Tuvalu back in 1992. He is a very clever and sensible chap.

Saddam has finally been sentenced to hang. He seems to be less than impressed.

Former presidential hopefully John Kerry has been slammed for a failed joke that was little more than a home truth.

REAL SPORT

Hannah's club team played Northsport B, who are really being cheap and their B teams should both be in division 1. Final score was 0-19. Hannah worked hard, she is very competent. Needs a little more speed but reads the game well and very feisty. We just need a few more like that.

SPORT

The Aussies beat New Zealand by 34 runs in the semi. Bollocks. They then thumped the Windies in the final, who were all out for 138.

Liverpool beat Reading 2-0, Man Utd beat Portsmouth 3-0, Sheffield Utd downed poor old Newcastle 1-0, Fulham beat Everton 1-0, Charlton beat Man City 1-0. West Ham beat Arsenal 1-0 and really big news was Spurs beating Chelsea 2-1 after being 0-1 down.

The All Blacks beat England 41-20. Australia drew 29-29 with Wales.

The Knights had a rare win, 1-0 over the second placed team who scored an own goal.

MY SAD LIFE

Lots of debate in our household about Rory going to the school sports dinner this coming Friday. I think he is going now. Good chance he will get something for water polo.

Hannah had photos at school for the year book. She was in nine photos for various sports teams and things. More than Rory in his first year, I think.

Kath turns the big 4-0 on Wednesday. She already has most of her presents. Hannah made her a necklace out of beads, which was pretty cool. Ross stood around while she chose herself a necklace, too.

I developed my usual full-blown cough Wednesday/Thursday, then on Friday night it was gone. Instead of coughing all night like I had the previous two nights, not a single cough. I consider this to be nothing short of a minor miracle. I have no idea why, either, which is a bit of a bugger. Funnily enough, I did cough a very little last night, after we returned from Waiheke.

I think Brett is living in Melbourne now. I am still toying with popping over but free weekends do not exist.

Diana has her exam tomorrow. She has today off work to study and prepare.

After weeks of hassles with my internet connection, it leapt up from 64kbps to over 900kbps, about 50% faster than it has ever been. Not sure what has been going on but happy now.

WEEKEND AWAY

Spent the weekend on Waiheke island with the Goodins and Clares. Was a very quiet, idyllic spot, and the weather was perfect. We took the cars over which made it easier. The ferry was very nice. We stayed in two houses about ten minutes walk apart (depending on who is doing the walking, long story, won’t go there). Charles stayed with us, the Clares all stayed together in the big house, and it was very big - three bathrooms in the main house and another in the sleepout. Like I said, it was very big. So big that half the showers seemed to be two man ones. Um, not two MAN ones, two person ones.

On Saturday we went to the market at Ostend, lots of yummy food including Hungarian deep fried bread covered in pesto, fresh oysters, very nice bread, French chocolate, and stuffed olives. After lunch, we went off to Stony Batter, where there are tunnels and former gun emplacements. The walk to and from the car park wore me out, then on the way back we stopped at Onetangi and played touch rugby, which knackered the old men much more (me, Ross, and Charles). The old women were more sensible and watched.

Saturday night we had a big dinner, we pulled the large dining table out onto the deck and put the other table on the end.

Waiheke really is the home of the hippy. You couldn't get in to one restaurant without a kaftan, honest.

The kids all played together very well, a few injuries but no major dramas. I took a lot more photos of the girls than the boys, the boys tended to disappear a lot (looking for more lemons, mostly).

Rory took the three-man slingshot. We were shooting lemons into the water from the deck. I invented the double-bagged water balloon, because the kept breaking up when they were fired or in mid-air. On Sunday morning we took it down to the beach and used it. One lemon broke into four pieces on hitting the water. He managed to hit a boat with one, which was childish but funny. Even for me and Tony Brown, we couldn't help but wear a goofy smile.

It was a very good change of pace. I took quite a few photos, many were of tuis, wood pigeons, and a few seagulls. The others return to the rat race today, we came back early because of water polo and things.

TEN YEARS AGO

Well, we had no obvious government (which was delightful). I was weeding the lawn back then. Penny had just done a 250 table even for Princess Di (she was still alive, but not for long). It was Melbourne Cup day on the Tuesday (just like it is tomorrow, always first Tuesday in November). Some rugby players got married post season. People weren't happy about fireworks. It was the tenth anniversary of ComputerWorld (wonder if today's edition will be 20th?). We committed the most heinous hate crime I can imagine, we bought a barbecue. I played petanque with Ross and Barry. My emails have gone west from here for about four months, not sure what happened to them (you still got them, Paul?).

That'll do for this week.