26 May 2008

Scott Dixon wins Indy 500, lots of verdicts, Hannah scores in soccer and PODs all round - 26/05/2008

LOCAL NEWS

The Muliaga inquest began this week, about the woman who died when the power was cut off in her home and she stopped receiving oxygen. Remembering that she was on oxygen because she was overweight (described now as morbidly obese), the statement from her husband "she died for the want of $34" is bollocks if you consider she could have eaten $34 less of cheeseburgers and solved the problem in two ways. Some of the salient facts included the fact that they had been cut off before, they had been sent some 70 letters about their payment issues, and a number of other facts that show the family had plenty of notice.

We had the final budget of the current labour government. There were finally tax cuts but sod all. One can't help but consider that cutting spending on a bloating public service or even redirecting the money from bureaucrats to teachers and doctors wouldn't be a good thing.

News this week that smart kids do the same in streamed classes or not but the weaker kids do worse when streamed.

Concerns were raised about women becoming worse offenders in drunk driving. Again.

One of life's winners was in court this week for buying chips and M&Ms. He got the munchies, popped into a gas station, while in the (always too long) queue he ate some of the M&Ms. He got to the front of the queue, realised he had no money, but because he had started eating them he had to pay, so tried to pay with his tinny of cannabis, the policeman standing behind him in the queue arrested him.

Some evolutionary wonder woke up in a mini-skip in South Auckland while it was being emptied into a truck. He managed to make enough noise to prevent being munched. Apparently he couldn't get in to a nuclear reactor or incinerator to sleep.

The courts seemed quite productive this week with verdicts in a number of cases. A man was not-guilty of killing his niece (sounds like maybe she died of complications from AIDS), another man was guilty of killing his mother.

The Kahui trial summation took two days and the jury took less than a day to decide it wasn't him. Police say they charged the right person and nobody else will be charged. It's not pretty, at all. Two boys are dead and nobody did it. Meanwhile, Macsyna King, the mother, has been in every sodding paper telling us everything we don't know about her (and we really don't want to know anything).

A well known jockey fell off a bluff while hunting and got himself some serious head injuries.

Meanwhile another man managed to successfully hide under 3.5 tonnes of granite slabs. He is believed to have been trying to emulate the miracle rescues in China. He was described as being critically ill, but newly able to slide under closed doors.

The moron charged with killing two girls when he drove into a crowd of people was finally found guilty, the jury took full advantage of the court's hospitality before delivering their verdict.

A couple of guys went for a joy ride in a micro-light aircraft in the middle of the night in a rainstorm but it ended in a sad crash (a fatal sad crash). Funny, micro-lights used to be tiny a-frames with an engine strapped on and a hang glider style wing but I've seen two in the news that look like baby cessnas.

It is celiac awareness day today, I hope you are all aware of it. It is also "hoody" week. We are supposed to wear a hoody to show we are in touch with youth.

Meanwhile some people are too much in touch with smacking continuing despite the laws prohibiting it.

WORLD NEWS

After stamping to create the earthquake, China stood still on Monday to remember the dead. A steady stream of people continued to be arrested for covering themselves in crap and crawling into wrecked buildings hoping to be the last one found alive.

REAL SPORT

Rory's senior boys won their game on Friday 5-1 or something against a team they have drawn with a couple of times. Rory then took his Ponsonby team and they beat a Glen Eden B team 21-0 (they shouldn't bother playing A against B it is pointless).

Hannah's soccer team had their final grading game, playing the team just below them on the table who had drawn with a team that Hannah's team lost to a couple of weeks ago. On paper, I thought they should have won, and they certainly did. Again, they were 5-0 up at half time. Hannah scored her first goal of the season from half way, a shot that bounced in front of the goalie and went over and in. They also got a nice goal from a corner of Hannah's and a through ball from her also got them a goal. The floodgates closed at half time but they managed to get one more, to make it 6-0. Now, if you read this every week, you will think I am fibbing but they have won four games out of seven and scored six goals every time they win. This was their first away win, and their first win on a small pitch, so that was two hoodoos that have been broken. Oh, and Hannah got player of the day (so did Thomas AND Katie so was a good day all round).

On Sunday night, Rory's team lost 3-5 in the playoff for 5th and 6th. Rory got one goal, missed another he really should have scored.

SPORT

Jacob Oram scored a quick ton to help New Zealand survive in the first test, the Poms didn't even get to start their second innings before the end of the drawn match.

In the second test, New Zealand batted first and actually were in a pretty good position at the end of the second day, with 381 and England at 152/4. At the end of day three it was quite bizarre, 16 wickets fell, New Zealand all out for 114 in their second innings and now England still have a job to win. No chance of a draw with two days left and only nine wickets remaining.

Man Utd beat Chelsea in a penalty shootout after 1-1 draw in the Champs League final. Ronaldo missed one, John Terry missed one too.

Crusaders and Waratahs won their semi-finals and meet next weekend in Super 14 final.

New Zealander Scott Dixon started at pole position for the Indianapolis 500, and although was not in the lead the whole race stayed near the front and was comfortably in front at the right time (the end).

MY SAD LIFE

Sarah popped in with the twins on Monday, they are starting to look like non-newborns now. They are rolling over now, and are 14 weeks old tomorrow I think.

Robyn's funeral was on Thursday, quite well attended with St Mathews in the City packed. The service was over two hours, which does seem a little long. A few people got their cars clamped in a pre-pay carpark (what a crock, you don't get a credit for leaving early and if you take longer that you pre-pay for they clamp you in three minutes and charge you $140 extra).

We went to a school quiz night on Friday with the Bambis and others. It was lame, the questions were very obscure (and had things like multiple choices questions where the answer was none of the options). Then at the end they decided they needed to give stuff away so it dragged out forever.

Rory stayed home sick on Wednesday, and I made him watch (sort of made him) The Hidden Fortress, a 1958 black and white Japanese movie by Akira Kurosawa. He really enjoyed it.

Before Hannah's soccer game I popped in to say hello to Heidi, Pam, and Sjaan up the hill from the soccer ground, it was my walk for the day.

In the local paper there was a photo on the front page about some boys at Pasadena Intermediate taking up knitting. The boy at the front was Tom Hartill, son of a guy I grew up with. The only thing missing on the article was flashing red words saying "please beat us up".

Rory and I did some gardening to fill the bin on Sunday. I noticed two camellias had blossomed, the first of the winter, so I killed them (well put them in a vase).

We saw the Goodins, and Charles, yesterday. Charles is off to work in Singapore for the next 12 months (plus or minus three years). Hannah made a carrot cake and the icing was the best, there wasn't much left to bring home for Rory (who was tired so didn't go).

On the 1st of June, this week, it will be 12 years since we moved in to this house.

I read something about the "great vowel shift" in English which happened between 1200 to 1600. Because I can't read those horrible pronunciation things I can't really tell what happened but it does sound intriguing. They also reckon that the Spanish lisp (like in Barthelona) came from some highly regarded person having a lisp.

The following is an unpaid contribution from my daughter who hijacked my laptop. I take no responsibility for anything contained therein:

HANNAH'S SAD LIFE

Hannah is awesome,
She's cool too,
Everyone loves Hannah,
AND SO SHOULD YOU!!!!!!

I had a French test on Friday, it seemed pretty easy but I don't have my results back yet. Anyone who has spare time might like to go see the chick flick What Happens in Vegas, I saw it Friday night and thought it was quite decent, there were a few good laughs in it but you could easily see them coming. Bags not triple gun padlock pink bunnies, white elephants!!!!! I hope you have enjoyed Hannah's section this week (and just to let you know my life is not sad unlike my fathers!). HANNAH'S ROCK (or maybe just this one) DON'T FORGET TO RECYCLE, TURN OFF LIGHTS WHEN EXITING A ROOM AND DON'T EAT TUNA, WHITEBAIT OR SCALLOPS THEY ARE ENDANGERED!!!!!!!!! Peace out. Can I have some money please????!!!!!

(I sincerely apologise for that bit) Yes, Hannah has turned into a conservation nazi this week and turns off appliances all around the house. It's nice that it isn't just me, but Hannah is considerably worse than me (which is quite a change given that she was the biggest offender until recently). It is beginning to bug everyone, I think.

19 May 2008

The Austrian Tourism Board despairs, car chases of two varieties, China shudders - 19/05/2008

LOCAL NEWS

We had a comical escape from Mt Eden prison, with the classic sheet rope from one of the towers. There were photos of it everywhere. The guys was caught a few days later.

An immigration official, Mary Anne Thompson, resigned after some fuss about letting relatives in. Then we found out she had misled people into thinking she had a doctorate from the London School of Economics.

It is becoming more apparent that the best way to get publicity is to have the word "naked" in there somewhere. We had some shop assistants wearing only aprons serving in some shop to protest excessive packaging this week. The naked newsreader continued to make headlines.

A Hindu family caused offence by painting a Hindu symbol meaning good fortune on their roof. It looks like the swastika, which seemed to offend the sensibilities of various people (wimps, to be fair, like someone who was the son of a guy who fought in world war ii. I mean, for pity's sake, we don't get offended by red circles because of the Japanese now, do we?).

The body of a lost Israeli tramper was found this week.

Our budget is due to be delivered this week, I am pretty sure it will be a no-win thing for the Labour government. They have waited too long to blink and are going to look very stupid with any sort of tax cut now when it is patently obvious (at least to thinking voters) that we won't be in a position to afford it. I suspect it is just another step in the path to defeat at the coming election.

Couple of car chases in lower north island, one went up to 140km/hr and it turned out to be a 13yo boy. In Dannevirke, which reached speeds of 30km/hr (yes, 30) they needed road spikes, drove for 15km with no tyres. But, considerately, the car chase pulled over to let mobility scooters pass.

Someone revealed a study that showed that advertisements are 30-50% louder than the programs. This doesn't surprise me, I like to mute the TV in ad breaks anyway so I don't really care.

WORLD NEWS

China didn't want to be outdone by the Myanmar disaster, so they had an earthquake (they just got together and stamped their feet). This meant they were both clamouring to out-do the other's statistics. Of course, percentage wise, China never stood a chance. Interestingly, as a percentage of the population, our river tragedy was 0.0002% of the population, whereas 20,000 dead in China was around 0.002% of theirs and 100,000 in Myanmar is about 0.2% of theirs (gives you a feel for scale).

Austria stayed in the news with an quintuple axe murder, way more impressive than our dodgy chainsaw stuff. He killed his wife, daughter, parents, and father in law but didn't have the decency to finish himself off.


REAL SPORT

Saturday, Hannah returned to soccer, and they had another home win. They were 5-0 up at half time but was 6-1 final score. Hannah was back to taking free kicks and corners.

Rory played Sunday, they should have won, they lost I think 5-7. Rory scored one.

Hannah also played polo, probably shouldn't have (she was not in goal, at least) but she did okay, scored one from half way to make the final score a 3-4 loss. I think she really needed to get in there.

SPORT

Both New Zealand teams that made Super 14 semis failed to win their final round robin match. Highlanders beat the Crusaders, Blues beat the Hurricanes.

First test against the Poms began a couple of days ago, rain impacting play, unlikely to get a result. New Zealand not in a good position, they need to bat out the last day to survive, with all wickets intact (technically they don't as they need 3 more runs to get in the lead so every run they get means the Poms have to get them as well).

Portsmouth won the FA cup for the first time since 1939.

MY SAD LIFE

The mother of a friend of Hannah's, Robin Becht, died on Friday. She had fought breast cancer, and we all thought she'd won, but it came back. Robin and Diana knew each other from the gym, and Hannah has known Hayley since they were about three. Hannah went to Hayley's house on Saturday with some other friends and they distracted her a bit, which I think was really good. Diana and Hannah are going to the funeral on Thursday.

A long time friend of Mum's died on Thursday, Libby Lawson. She has known her for nearly fifty years.

We went to the school show on Wednesday, Little Shop of Horrors. It was done very well, it was a lot of fun, there were about seven or eight people in it that I know.

On Saturday night we went to a local bar with some people (including Koos, Julie, and Heidi). The drinks were even free for a while, but I had to get up at 5am to take Hannah to polo training on Sunday morning so we didn't get too carried away.

The Listener crossword has become a bit of a ritual in our house for me and Diana to do, with us competing over who gets it first, but on Sunday it arrived home (after being partially done in the car on the way home) and was done by me and Rory, we finished it completely before she got inside from getting the washing. Was pretty unfair. We might need to photocopy it like Mum does.

The bread extravaganza continues, with Saturday including three different styles (granny bread, croissants, and baps) and Sunday night was pita bread. Diana reckons that we are saving a lot because we are buying less normal bread. Only problem is the stuff never lasts (as in it is eaten, no risk of going stale).

I was suffering a bit this week, a weird nerve thing on the left hand side of my face. No rash so it wasn't shingles, but it really hurt. Doctor told me to just chew the panadols which did help After a few days it started to improve but it is still there.

12 May 2008

Stolen pubs, player poaching, another broken bone in the (newly philosophical) Clarke house - 12/05/2008

LOCAL NEWS

Our youngest ever convicted murderer, Bailey Junior Kuariki, is now out on bail. Bailey is now a bailee. (sorry, couldn't resist)

The government purchase of the railways prompted breakfast television to come up with the dream team for the board. It included such glitterati as David Benson-Pope (the student basher), Taito Philip Field (the immigration scam minister), and a host of others. It was pretty funny, a list of the Labour Government's embarrassments and failures, an off the cuff thing which deserved a wider audience.

A pub was stolen from south Auckland this week. That's right, a pub was stolen, not burgled. It was a portable pub, obviously a little too portable. The west-coast owners vowed to de-knacker the perpetrators and send the said off cuts to their mums in a lunch box.

We had two retards facing off on a one way bridge down near Queenstown, nobody would back down until the police arrived. So pathetic. Not sure if either was a tourist, but you would suspect they were (not necessarily from overseas, a tourist from outside the area is what I mean).

Big fuss about the New Zealand representative for Miss Universe, a Massey University graduate, when the university displayed a photo of her in a bikini (rather than a gown). Was it that inappropriate? Perhaps. Did it generate publicity, ooooh yes.

A large number a Killer Beez (a local gang) were arrested for manufacture and sale of "P". They had 200k in cash. A replay of an interview with the leader of Killer Beez was shown where he was saying he didn't do drugs, didn't make drugs, didn't sell drugs, and you know he looked like he was lying through his teeth (body language can provide pretty good hints to even a bozo like me, see below for another observation along those lines).

Bit of a fuss about player poaching at high school level again this week. Mt Albert Grammar has been done for two offences. We know they have done it in polo, but that wasn't one of them. Approaching a kid to come to your school so they can play a sport is apparently verboten, but I don't actually see why it should be. A player would be flattered and if the sport is important to them they might want to do it. Why should they not be allowed?

A guy attacked police with a chainsaw. Police hit him with their car. No, they drove it. Would have been cooler if they ripped of the exhaust pipe and slapped him silly with it. After the Tokeroa chainsaw pseudo-massacre, we seem to be favouring the chainsaw as a weapon.

Meanwhile a man took a chainsaw as hand luggage on a plane, because it wasn't in the list of dangerous items (like nail scissors and pocket knives).

WORLD NEWS

The weather in Myanmar seems to have accounted for 22,000 people, the number climbed a couple of times. The regime there seems to be perfect to maximise damage and minimise recovery. Funny how when one person kills another it is murder but when a regime neglects people allowing tens of thousands to die it isn't.

REAL SPORT

Rory's team lost 5-6 in a game they really should have won on Friday night, it was pretty sad. Then Hannah's team, without two of their best three players (see later for why one of them didn't play), lost 0-9 in a game that should have been winnable.

Hannah's soccer team lost 0-2 against a strong team but it could have been better with Hannah playing. Still grading so not the end of the world.

Rory's team won 9-4 against Sacred Heart on Sunday afternoon. Rory scored three for us and one for them (he tried to deflect a shot, but didn't quite work).

Hannah's two school polo teams had games on Sunday but she didn't go (although she was supposed to). Don't know how they went but suspect they struggled.

SPORT

New Zealander Scott Dixon won pole position for the Indy 500, which is pretty cool. Not sure when the race is, possibly this morning.

Only one week of round robin left of Super 14. Teams will make semi-finals, I am sure. Meanwhile, rugby is generally considered to be in trouble as more and more people lose interest.

Last week of premiership this weekend. This is when all the teams play their last game at the same time so nobody knows what they need based on other results. Chelsea needed a win but they drew against Bolton 1-1, Man Utd needed a win and they got a 2-0 win over Wigan. Liverpool beat Spurs 2-0, Middlesbrough beat Man City 8-1 (ouch), Arsenal beat Sunderland 1-0. So Man Utd wins, two points clear of Chelsea, Arsenal third.

MY SAD LIFE

Hannah hurt her right index finger at PE on Monday. Couldn't tell how bad, but she was doing cartwheels at dancing that night (no, don't go there, seriously). She went to get it looked at properly on Tuesday, it was broken but not seriously. The x-ray revealed that there are still growth plates in her bones so she hasn't stopped growing yet. She then went to a variety of people over the next few days (plastic surgeon, hand person, you name it). This included an 8am appointment this morning. She will slowly get back in sport and dancing but goal keeping in polo could be a while off.

It was Ben Grant's birthday on Sunday, he is now four! Mum has her birthday on Wednesday.

Hannah showed me an interesting thing in a TV show she was watching. A woman with quite a large nose was interviewing two people and you could see the female interviewees eyes were going from looking her in the eye to checking out the proboscis, it was pretty funny.

Rory, Maddie, and I worked on rearranging his room, and cleaning as we went. We removed a bit of detritus from my time, recovered some wild socks, plates, and so forth. He now has comfortable seating for six, and he reckons can sleep about 8 in comfort. His definition of comfort is one that I wasn't previously aware of.

Bigger news is that Maddie took Rory off for a hair cut on Saturday (it being an even numbered year and everything). It's a lot shorter but still relatively long. At least he can see in the pool now. And where he is walking, etc.

We had lunch with Granny for Mother's Day. It was Sarah's first Mother's Day, the twins are nearly 13 weeks old.

Judy returned from her island cruise this week. Sounded pretty cruisy, with tough decisions being which restaurant and which show. The boat had 600 passengers, although one died while visiting an island (not on the ship itself).

I've been watching a talk by Richard Dawkins and Lawrence Krauss on YouTube. It's pretty cool being able to see things like that. My favourite line is where they point out that the difference between the age of the earth and the biblical 6,000 year estimate is like saying that the journey from New York to LA is 7.8 yards. I wonder if the internet could result in a generally better educated population? You could have the best people being lecturers for all students in the world at the same time. Perhaps not.

5 May 2008

A good summer narrowly avoided, two 15 minute of famers get another 15 minutes - 05/05/2008

LOCAL NEWS

Well, the family of the man who recycled his legs held a funeral for them. What would you say at such an event? Something like "We always liked Basil's legs, they made him seem somehow taller"?

As the Kahui trial (about the twin baby boys) continues, the man charged with their murder has asked to get custody of his remaining child. You have to give it to him, he's an optimist, obviously very confident of not going to jail. Or perhaps the mother is worse than he is? The mind boggles.

Meanwhile, natural selection ran it's course when a man leapt off an 8th floor balcony into the water down near Princes Wharf, his body was found a couple of hours later.

A young English female tourist died in a riverboarding accident (no, I don't know what riverboarding is either, sounds like surfing, on a river). She got trapped under the water, and they couldn't get her out fast enough.

Our "listening post" spy installation was attacked and unveiled as a boring old satellite dish. How embarrassing.

Chloe of Wainuiomata made the news, for shoplifting, she was a complete prat before anyway.

Meanwhile that random woman who "streaked" at a super 12 game a few years ago is going to read the semi-naked news on a local subscriber channel. Good grief, does anyone care?

The family of a 36 yo woman who drowned while trying to save her 9yo son from a swollen river want her to get a bravery award. Come on, a Darwin Award, perhaps. She couldn't swim, her silly fault. It was her son, she knew she couldn't swim, why let him get in the river? I would expect every parent to be prepared to try to save the life of their child, end of story.

I think local papers are finally starting to get the idea that money is tight and people are struggling. Getting more in depth stuff on saving money, increases in cost of living. Meanwhile some economists are going "I told you so" about people with high personal debt.

The government has bought the railways back from Toll. Not sure what that means, other than that it will be expensive.

WORLD NEWS

Five people died and nine were injured on Sydney Harbour in a boat crash. Then something happened on the harbour in Melbourne a couple of days later.

New Zealand soldiers have been accused of damaging the already ruined buddhas in Afghanistan (the Teleban did them over a few years back, if you recall). Sounds like a load of bollocks to me. They were clearing some explosive, might have been unplanned collateral damage but who really cares, there wasn't much left anyway.

There was something about an Austrian molesting his daughter on Tuesday but in a survey 46% of people thought it said all Australians were child molesters. Meanwhile the media continued to cover it, it never got less disturbing. Someone must have suspected something.

REAL SPORT

The first game in the tournament was against the top ranked team in our group, we were behind first quarter but came back, ended up with a shot of goal at each end in the last 3 seconds, but final score was 6-6.

Won the second game 14-4 against Rotorua, much easier. Third pool game was not expect to be a hard one. We used everyone off the bench, all at once, for half some quarters, and still won 19-0. This qualified us second in our pool, and through to the championship section.

Tuesday didn't go well, lost both games, which put us into playoff for 7th and 8th. Rory scored in both games but he had pulled a muscle in his left arm and wasn't swimming as fast as he can.

Thursday we had the playoff for 7th and 8th, which we won (thank god) so at least we finished on a win. The team we drew with lost in the final, so we didn't do too bad.

Hannah finally had a soccer game, feels like ages (two weeks). They played Pukekohe. Took a while to score, but then the gates opened. They won 6-1, two girls got hat-tricks. Hannah still playing centre back.

SPORT

Man Utd and Chelsea both won through to the Champs League final, which should be a good match.

Man Utd beat West Ham 4-1, Wigan beat Villa 2-0, Blackburn beat Darby 3-1, Bolton beat Sunderland 2-0.

MY SAD LIFE

I didn't really have a life for much of the week, the tournament took quite a bit of time. I did catch up with a friend, Chris, who lives in Hamilton. Haven't seen him since the wedding a year ago. Diana and Hannah went mad at various clothing stores on Monday, while I did some work. I did manage to swim after the second game, adding another pool to my list of pools (it's a mental list, read that however you like, I won't disagree). One night I went out to where the team was staying, it was not even in Waikato, it was Waipa District (a long way from the pool, let alone civilisation. I got to barbecue 100 sausages before I fought the elements to go home. We did go to the Hamilton Zoo, which was interesting, I guess. School holidays mean that the animals on our side of the cage were often more apparent than the ones on the other side. One thing that was pretty funny was the chimpanzees have their own goldfish.

The local version of "Stars in their Eyes" has begun, another crime against music and humanity. Diana has irrefutably established that the hottest girl wins not the best singer. It's woeful. If I do watch the final, it will have to be with the sound off.

I learned about Maori potatoes this week. There are like 20 varieties and they look very different from regular potatoes and each other. Some are quite purple inside.

Went to the flea market with Hannah, spent heaps, bought only vegetables. Not very exciting. Was wet, too.

Diana and Hannah have been expanding their horizons with the breadmaker, making croissants and bagels this week. It made 13 croissants which would have cost considerably more if purchased in a shop.

I took 900 photos on Saturday, 400 at Hannah's soccer game and 500 at a men's water polo game we went to see. We know a number of players in the team, three have coached Rory or Hannah, and one was in Rory's team last year.

The 100 sausage barbecue broke my attempt at avoiding cooking on a barbecue for the whole summer. So close, and yet so far.