Don't Mention the Rugby - 08/11/99

The week when even the word "Bugger!" doesn't cover it. Apparently someone in Australia objected to the Bugger advert, too.
I have to say to those of you overseas, you probably did the right thing.

The foster parent who punished a ten year old boy by making him wear a shirt doused in petrol, then lit it, was referred for psychiatric assessment, other charges are pending.

Heavy rain on Wednesday, rain warnings all over the place during the week.
More leaders debates, some have been quite entertaining.
NZFirst copped some serious flak when they announced their party list and the two woman MPs turned out to be lower on the list than expected. If voting reflects polling, neither are likely to get returned. Both have been the subject of controversy (a requirement for NZFirst MPs) one with excessive overseas travel, the other registering her car with postage stamps or something semi-fraudulent like that. Not a good look for Winston, who may lose a little ground with women voters because of it.
Alliance pulled out of Wellington Central, in favour of Labour candidate to try to oust Richard Prebble, leader of ACT. Now Labour may pull out of Coromandel to help Green Party leader. This tit for tat sort of thing is pretty shonky. I suspect it may have the opposite of the desired effect with some voters. We are heading into the home stretch now with about three weeks before the election.
Latest poll has ACT getting 9%, Alliance about 7%, NZF about 6% and the other two pretty close to each other at about 32% or something.
NZFirst now says it will not be in a coalition, Shipley hinted at holding a second election rather than have Winston call the shots from the middle of the house. I say here and now, if Winston does hold the balance power, we will emigrate.

NZ horses didn't get a look-in at the Mebourne Cup.

The crash of the Eqypt air flight was not high on the countries list, no kiwis on board, although if the all blacks were on it would have been better. One person got off the flight at New York, they were a grief councillor for the airline. Fat lot of use he would have been:
A phone rings
Grief Stricken Relative: (tears and sobbing)"Hello?"
Councillor: "Hello my name is Lucky Bastard, I am grief councillor for Egypt Air. I feel your pain."
GSR "Like fuck you do, you got of the sodding plane. My little Jimmy didn't."
Councillor: "Um, yeh, dead lucky wasn't I? Haven't been able to wipe the smile off my face. What do you reckon the chances were, eh? Better go buy a Lotto ticket. Oh well, sorry your son, daughter-in-law, grandchildren, and pet cat were on the plane. Better luck next time, eh? And don't forget to buy travel insur-"
-Click-
Yes, he would be really useful.

A bunch of Epsom schoolkids got stuck by the rain in the Waitakeres, they shouldn't have gone out, teachers were stupid. Nobody died so that was okay.
The Aussies voted no to a republic.

Vitriol has run thick over the AB loss to France. Roger first wanted their passports cancelled, then decided they were just trick or treaters pretending to be the ABs and we had to play SA on Friday because of French sanctions. Saw another mail from a disappointed supporter who wanted them dumped from 100 feet up out of a topdresser, then decided naked in g-strings in the hero parade being whipped by someone french-looking. I think the ABs have lost a lot of ground with the public over this.
Some bastard in Wellington put $400 on France to win by 12, he won $66,000. Every rugby supporter in NZ wants him dead. He has gone into hiding.

Some jokes, mainly tired old ones re-worked, came out of the woodwork:

What is the main function of the all black coach?
To take the players to the ground and back to the hotel.

What is an All Black hat-trick?
Conceding three tries in three minutes.

Why didn't the AB back line need pre-tour travel injections?
They don't normally catch anything.

All Black supporter decided he couldn't handle the defeat, dressed in all his gear and prepared to do himself in.
A neighbour spotted the problem and called the police. They arrived in time, removed his All Black jersey, cap, and underpants, then dressed him in stockings, suspenders, teddy, lipstick, and ladies wig. They then started to leave. When he asked them why they did this, the police said "we didn't want you to embarass your family."

Why are All Blacks and drug addicts similar?
Both spend most time wondering when their are going to get their next score

Rumour has it that the ABs have got a new sponsor: Tampax.
The NZRB thought it was an appropriate change as the team is having a very bad period.

Then we lost the playoff for third and fourth to South Africa by four points, 9:00am kickoff our time. An error ridden game that gave me no pleasure. Despite everything all week, I wanted them to win. Years of feeling that the ABs were my team, memories of watching Grant Batty and Stu Wilson against the Lions with my Grandfather on his COLOUR telly, it was too much and I wanted them to win. I wasn't that interested in Super 12 this season, and NPC wasn't much fun with all the ABs gone. I am very disappointed in rugby. Well f**k them all, I am a soccer person now.

Speaking of soccer, Man U beat Leceister with Cole scoring two awesome goals, and even better the Kingz beat Sydney Olympic away with a scorcher by Harry Ngata. The Under-17 tournament kicks off on Wednesday.

John Hart resigned late Friday night, heard it live as I was bored and the fireworks were all going off. Will at least quieten some debate on Radio Sport. Had to happen. New team will have to be a bit new-look I think. I suspect John Hart will emigrate, as he won't be able to cross a street without someone trying to run him over.
The Aussies the won the cup. Kind of glad Craig hasn't told me his new email address yet. Don't want to talk to any Australians.
The Kiwis played Australia in the Tri-Series, lost by two points. Was close, but no cigar. Wasn't really too into it. Aussies have lost a league series since 1954 or something. Wonder what it would be like to have a team like that.

The Black Caps managed to save the third test, well draw it anyway. Best batting display of the series in their second innings. After the rugby my interest in the cricket increased. Then, on Friday night, while the Kiwis fought hard, the Black Caps played India in a one dayer. They scored 349 for 9, their highest against India, although earlier on I thought they could have got more. Astle scored 120 then got 3 for 40 bowling in a game where every bowler's figures sucked. The pitch was a batter's one. It was hard work getting the wickets for both sides. The Indians reached 87 in 11.4 overs. They did well.

First cricket practice last monday, was abominable, twelve kids all really carried away. They had their moments but I wasn't in much shape to handle them after getting up at 4am. Was still somewhat sleep deprived on Tuesday.
Painted and cut down a bat of Rory's (that Craig gave him, but he has outgrown it). It is now Hannah sized and the first pink cricket bat in recorded history. Me and Hannah had a lovely time painting it.
Tree people had fun in our street this week. They hacked holes in them to make room for the power cables. Now looks like the guy who wrote tetris has gone into the tree pruning business. We have the rudest looking trees lining our street, with all sorts of geometrical shapes missing.
Kids narrowly won their game on Saturday. Hannah ran once, didn't go out. Rory played well. Got rained on again. Speculation mounts as to what they are going to play for a summer sport.
Saturday night was the night of the "big do" at Ross and Kath's. The viewing of the final on a big screen wasn't a priority. Spent a while in the pool with Rory and others. Bruce Pye was there (Blair) with his very pregnant significant other. Robin also came but I didn't get to speak to her much. Tania didn't make it, haven't seen her for ages, perhaps since she became pregnant. Also saw the Batenburg's. Gabrielle is almost as tall as Sue (Kath's sister). Gaby is eight. Kids were well-behaved, pretty much, but stuffed. Hannah slept until about 9 the next morning, I didn't wake up until 8, almost a personal best for me.
Quiet day yesteday, except for when a can of polyurethane exploded (sort of) in my hands. Felt sticky all day despite shower, turps, rinse and repeat. Did manage to get some on Hannah's bat though.
Went for a small bike ride with the kids, and later on we saw a cyclist who seemed to have suffered an altercation with a car, without the benefit of a helmet. Good lesson for the kids there.
Well, only four years to the next Rugby World Cup, this time I think we need to adjust our expectations a bit beforehand.