Okay, there is no revision, but I couldn't think of another subject.
LOCAL NEWS (or lost and found)
The two lady trampers that were lost for eight days got found.
Four climbers lost their lives in an avalanche on Mt Cook.
Two idiots didn't lose their lives when they lost control of a boy racer car and wrapped it around a tree. An unfortunate exception to the rules of Darwinian evolution.
A supposed "pop star" by the name of Daniel Bedingfield (who?) lost control of a vehicle and was trapped until found by emergency services.
The Crocodile Moron (known also as Steve Irwin) has lost popularity when he went croc fishing and used his baby son for bait.
Helen Clark was found in Norway cruising around on a motorised ski thing. They can keep her.
A cyclone (Heta) is finding it's way to Samoa.
WORLD NEWS
The requisite number of babies and kittens were found alive in the rubble in Bam after the earthquake, just enough to keep the tragedy in the news to encourage donations. I think the US blew a chance to improve opinions of them in the Middle East by not flying in heaps of troops, equipment, and Big Macs to the disaster from neighbouring Iraq Inc. The death toll seems to have grown considerably. I am not sure that these running totals are appropriate, it makes it feel like a Telethon.
News this week of dog owners giving their neutered boy-dogs testicular implants so they don't have self-image issues. This has to be the most pathetic idea since someone stuffed a pair of socks down the front of their undies. Good grief. It's for the self-image of the pathetic owner who probably gets larger ones inserted and has pec-implants of their own and a very large BCSD car.
SPORT
The Black Caps collapsed on the Monday to give the Pakis a pretty easy shot at winning the test and the series. If they have scored maybe even fifty more runs and used up a few more hours of time it would have been a different story.
They did win the first ODI with five balls to spare thanks to a Scott Styris ton.
The Aussies are battling to avoid a follow-on in the last test match against India, Steve Waugh's last test might end in a draw if he is lucky.
Liverpool, Arsenal, Fulham, and Man United all won through to the next round of the FA Cup.
MY SAD LIFE
After spending the last full night of 2003 being tormented by my wife and a smoke alarm with a dodgy battery, I tried to repair the hole in the floor where the chimney used to be. Wasn't a good day, I whacked a finger with the hammer, stubbed my toe, and continued to trip on the mat that Diana kept putting at the back door. By the time I finally lost my cool I had scored three seven point fives, an eight, and a nine with a bonus for artistic merit on the last one but lost points for swearing. I now see why so many accidents happen around the home (don't go there, it's where we spend most of our lives so statistically it isn't surprising). Gavin assisted with some materials and labour, and we completed a mostly bodgy but effective re-flooring exercise.
Have received news of the Grant grandchild, it is a he, which means Paul is to become an Uncle (not an auntie) and already has a name. Current age -22 weeks and counting.
Spent a few days at Algies Bay with Judy, making her realise how much more peaceful it is living on your own than having two fighting children in the house. We launched the boat back into the water this morning (well, watched other people do it, it's pretty big to do without proper gear). It ran aground the weekend before we found out how sick Dad was. Hopefully a man from Thames will buy it this week. We spent an afternoon out on the harbour, and a bit of time at the beach including about an hour and a half long swim at the beach yesterday afternoon for me and the kids.
We arrived home to find a letter from Rory's new school suggesting that he is probably in the Krelbourne Class. This is what his parents wanted (mostly his mother).
I had another email from a reader of my book. That makes three people who have bought it, counting Sjaan.
Koos has sodded off home, hardly saw him really, he was a bit busy. He didn't take a copy of my book home for Peter so he's going to have to give you his copy, Peter.
Well, sorry for lateness and it's probably woefully incomplete, but be happy - it's better value than that bloody Herald over the holidays.
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