I suppose I have to say something about the Oscars - 08/03/04

Welcome firstly to Marc, another Stuttgart resident, who is yet another person that has to delete this email from his inbox every week.

LOCAL NEWS

Well, as you can imagine, there was absolutely no news in New Zealand on Monday, other than the Oscars. Poor old Keisha Castle-Hughes didn't win, but I didn't think she would. I should have put money on Charlize Theron winning, I knew she would. Meanwhile, The Return Of The King scored 11 from 11 awards so the news on Monday night was nothing but. If I was the prime minister, I would have released all the bad news I had and come clean on every scandal I could that day as it just wouldn't have made the news. Billy Crystal said at one point "It's official, there is nobody left in New Zealand to thank."

Warren Berryman, a guy that my Dad used to work with, that I knew reasonably well, died this week. He was a journalist, published the Independent for a good ten years or more. He was a pretty gravelly kind of guy, not known for subtlety.

The government have listed towns that are poor employment zones and/or with a lack of public transport and people on the dole can't go live there to ensure they aren't offered work. People already living in these locations aren't required to move out, they are allowed to move there if they have a job offer or the ability to commute to work elsewhere. Can't quite decide whether this is a good thing or completely fascist. Some towns are very unhappy about being on the list.

The break-up of David Tua and his manager and trainer became big news with details of the money leakage and likely defalcations that were going on. Do they figure boxers have their brains addled by boxing that they can't figure out they've been diddled?

The big disappearing gun on north head is being restored and test fired this weekend. It was installed because they thought Russians were planning an invasion in the late 1880s (seems nobody told Russia about the plan).

Some 61 cars have been broken into in Taupo in recent weeks, police have told people to leave someone with their car when they park it. I suspect it is the work of one deranged person (or someone who owns a glass company). Perhaps they might consider catching them?

WORLD NEWS

John Kerry will challenge the might of the intellectually challenged GW.

I have stopped talking about Iraq because it just isn't good. The wall in Israel also seems like a really bad idea.

Martha Stewart was found guilty. Sometimes celebrities think they are bigger than the law. She has discovered she is not. I wish a few more did.

REAL SPORT

This week I reluctantly agreed to be 12th grade coordinator so that there is one and we can get moving. There is a trial this Tuesday. Got Rory some new boots. I also agreed to coach Hannah's team, but not Rory's. Cannot be done with their games likely to be at similar times now. I will have to have a good backup on match day to see Rory's whole game sometimes. Hannah will have trials sometime, she will be in a girl's team, her first year on full-sized pitches.

SPORT

Some fake journalist snuck into the Australian Formula 1 Grand Prix press conference, and asked Juan Mantoya something like this: "Juan, one wonders if you want to be number one in formula one, you would be one happy Juan if you won race one." and so on, it was quite a lot longer. Silly, but clever too.

The Black Caps won the final ODI and took the series 5-1, which moved them up to number 4 on the ODI rankings.

Man Utd beat Fulham in the FA Cup 2-1, Arsenal beat Portsmouth 5-0 or something. Not sure about the next round but could be Man Utd Arsenal final. Sunderland is through, neither Milwall or Tranmere could find the back of the net and they will re-play.

The New Zealand teams had better luck in the Super 12 this week, the Chiefs are the best New Zealand team after beating the Blues.

Cameron Brown won his fourth consecutive Ironman in Taupo this weekend. They didn't mention if his car was okay.

Italy beat Scotland and Ireland beat England in the six nations rugby. First loss for the Poms in 22 matches.

MY SAD LIFE

Gavin's Mum fractured a rib in a car accident early in the week, but she's okay. He didn't mention how the car was.

Forgot to mention Kathryn's comment when they visited last weekend, when she saw the cat scratching pole I made. "We've got a spare proper one in the cupboard if you want it." she said callously, shooting my confidence in my scratching pole construction abilities down in flames. Naturally, I politely declined the offer, given that we already have a proper one that is H5 treated and likely to survive a nuclear war.

Ollie the kitten steadily improved all week. They now chase each other around and beat each other up something shocking. They have been slowly exploring outside world, which they find to be hugely entertaining. They were absolutely bonkers on Sunday and just wouldn't come inside, even though they must have been knackered. They have started climbing the fences, Pandora got onto the shed (Amber's old haunt) and they both got up the archway and sat in the bird's nest.

On Tuesday, the bridge was blocked due to a moronic truck driver. I stayed and audioed in to my meeting for the morning and went over for the afternoon session. As I rang off, I said "that should give me time to get out of my dressing gown and drive over". (The irony of this will not be lost on some of you who have known me a long time.) At least I didn't say "put my trousers on".

Had a bit of a day on Thursday. After an interminable audio meeting, I had to answer the door. I went around the side and there were two Jehovah's Witnesses (who hadn't actually seen Jehovah personally, always a disappointment to me). I knew one, said hello. Then I spotted the front door was open. Asked them if it was open when they arrived and they said it was but they hadn't gone in. I said that's not what I meant, have you seen any small kittens wandering around. They said no, and I was able to convince them that I was pretty busy looking for lost kittens. They were in the house, so that was okay. Then I had a psychotic session of calling people, missing calls, hanging up on them accidentally, returning calls and being told they were in meetings when they just called me, and missing other calls. At the end of that I called Diana on her mobile and asked would she be home soon, said I needed a lie down and could she make me a coffee.

Koos is alive, he emailed me to prove it. Well, I think it was him, it could have been someone pretending to be him. He said he cut his finger, needed stitches, but not as bad as Ad did.

Roger/Shin - how's the foetus? Must be large bump by now.

My Telecommunications code is now being released for public comment, about bloody time.

I pre-ordered the new Battlefield Vietnam, only about 7 sleeps until it arrives.

Diana and Hannah were worried when I asked to borrow Hannah's clear nail polish. It's to protect my nail that I hit with a hammer on New Year's day, it's starting to break up a bit around the trailing edge of the injury and the polish should stop it coming apart.

We spent most of the weekend standing over Rory making him do his sodding school project. I don't know about him, but I am not sure me and Diana can handle the pressure. It's due on Friday. We finished the effort at about 9:30 last night making an unusual container for maths.