This seems like the week for weird stories in NZ. We often get stories entitled "Only in America", well maybe the local media need to look closer to home.
LOCAL NEWS
A female German tourist died when she was run over by a car at the carpark at Fox Glacier. It is never good publicity when we lose a tourist, but the driver was her husband so tourists can't really blame us for it.
From the "but you need a dog license to have a dog" department, an 18yo woman went sunbathing an left her baby boy locked in a closed car in 30 degree heat in Gisborne. She then assaulted the guy that rescues the boy and tried to stop police from assisting. Stupid or nasty, you choose.
The man who absconded with his half-welsh daughter came in from the cold, whilst it was revealed an NZ man had been cohabiting with a US woman on the run from the FBI for asconding with her daughter. She is coming clean, too.
A South Island farmer's daughter wanted to get married on the family farm. He wanted her to be married in a church. He solved the problem by buying a church and shifting it onto the farm. He must be pretty religious.
There was a "swarm" of nine earthquakes in lower North Island on Tuesday, they weren't big ones. Then there was a quite big one just before 8am on Friday morning (about 5.5).
A Thames accountant decided he needed to hide from $15,000 in gambling debts (among other things) so he crashed his car and hid in a swamp for six weeks drinking his own sweat (what a load of bollocks, I bet he went and stayed in a motel somewhere or something). He was charged with wasting police and rescue time (they worked pretty hard trying to find the bugger). He has been fined $4000 and sentenced to 250 hours community service. He plans to start up company that sells "drink your own sweat" devices and survival manuals.
Cultural Snobbery #1. A woman is being talked to after refusing to move from her seat at the front of a ceremony at a marae. Apparently women have to sit at the back.
A man suffering from motor neurone disease is starving himself to death in an effort to make a point about euthenasia. He is pretty far gone.
A korean man died of multiple stab wounds (the word multiple is quite important in this sentence) and police were investigating to establish whether or not it was suspicious.
Cultural Snobbery #2. A family was upset when the body of a Mongrel Mob member was taken from a tangi (maori funeral thing) for one last party at gang headquarters. One family member said it was what he would have wanted, everyone else was mortified (apologies for inappropriate pun).
Okay, technically in Australia but I can bend the rules if I want to. Police in Melbourne want a bullet removed from the back of a NZ man charged with murder so they can use it as evidence. I suppose he could be charged for withholding evidence if he refuses.
A Lebanese man who has lived in NZ for 15 years has won a poker tournament in Melbourne with A$1 million prize. He runs a lebanese bakery and kebab shop in Mirimar and will continue to do so.
WORLD NEWS
George is re-inaugurated. Not convinced they need to do that for a second term, to be honest. He has vowed to end tyranny, which will be easy if we wait four years. I wonder what the opposite of inaugurate is, perhaps denigrate or terminate?
Elections in Iraq next weekend, sounds like it's going to get messier than it already is.
REAL SPORT
Rory's team won 7-6. Rory set up one goal, defended well against Bucky (his 14th grade coach), and David scored a good goal.
SPORT
Liverpool lost their FA Cup game with an own goal. Man Utd won their replay against Exeter. There is a rude limerick about a lady from Exeter.
Liverpool continued their bad week by losing 0-2 to Southampton. Man Utd beat Villa 3-1, Chelsea won 3-0 over Portsmouth, but game of the day was Norwich and Middlesbrough who had a 4-4 draw, Norwich were down 1-4 with 12 minutes left and they managed to equalise. Arsenal got a 1-0 win over Newcastle.
The first ODI between NZ and the World XI was a bit of a fizzer. The World XI were 20/4 at one point but got to 160. Stephen Fleming then went bonkers and scored 10 fours and 9 sixes in reaching 106 bythe 16th over. NZ reached target losing only Fleming's wicket.
Jonah Lomu is coming back with a game at Twickenham in June. He was whinging about what the NZ Rugby Union was prepared to pay him when he was too sick to play - if he can't play why should he expect anything?
MY SAD LIFE
Diana and the kids went away for a few days to the Kauranga Valley near Thames. I stayed home and worked. It was only two nights, hardly noticed it although it was certainly quiet in the house. Wasn't there enough to really feel it. Diana wasn't away long enough for me to get scurvy or anything. I reckon I used about six dishes while they were away (coffee cup, glass, two plates, a knife, and a spoon). I didn't actually make dinner for myself, but did do one load of washing. Friday morning I didn't wake up until 8am, and once the phone stopped ringing I spent the rest of the morning sitting at the table on the deck in the sun with my notebook, my PDA, and four telephones (home, office, both mobiles, it looked pretty bad but I didn't have to get up every time a phone rang). It was quite nice.
By all accounts the kids had a good break. Hannah jumped off a rock into the water hole at Hoffman's Pool upstream from the camp (a photo of Rory jumping off it is in my book). Rory reckoned he didn't go to sleep until 3am on Thursday night (glad I wasn't there for that). They said they enjoyed it more than Pukehina, which is largely because there were a bunch of kids to fool around with (nine in total, I think). Diana said Rory was actually quite helpful, helping other kids with kayaking and playing rescue at the bottom of the cliff in the water.
Still swimming, went with just Hannah on Wednesday so she could catch up on stars (don't ask, the scheme to encourage effort that has grown bigger than any rewards scheme ever). Hannah is now faster than me, too. I swam a length and a half underwater on Saturday, target now two lengths in one breath.
Helen explained Ningaloo reef for me and is back in NZ for a couple of weeks.
Paul felt that he was unfairly held responsible for the improvement in the weather here by leaving the country. Empirical evidence is hard to argue with, mate.
I just realised that Jono didn't actually even ring up while he was here (how rude).
Wasted an hour on Friday afternoon waiting for someone who didn't show up for an interview for D-Photo. Was pretty bloody annoyed to be honest. Journalism really doesn't pay very well (certainly not in a backwater like NZ).
Pandora, Rory's cat, has always played with the ring things off milk bottles. But now she has started carrying them in her mouth to someone, dropping them, and waiting for us to throw them (she did it about four times in a row with me this morning). This is very dog-like behaviour, and we are a bit worried.
Hannah goes back to school Thursday this week.
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