Sorry this is late. Bit distracted, work got in the way. For those of you who asked, no you haven't missed it, your email is still working. To make it less daunting, cut it in half and send it to your self in pieces.
* On Wednesday, it is 4th of May, depending on which side of the fence you sit, either remember to say "May the fourth be with you" or try not to. (the asterisk was for Brett)
LOCAL NEWS
It rained today, properly, but only for about half an hour. Don't know what to do in it, weather has been pretty good, even if colder in recent weeks.
Not sure if Christchurch is hoping to gain a reputation, but this week they had a body show up on a street. This follows a couple of other murders recently, in fact there has been five in the last two months. It's not the place to be. It turned out to be a gang guy, and arrests began to follow.
A 55 year old woman died when she was hit by the trailer her husband was backing and fell into a river. Apparently the husband was very unhappy, but really you'd have to be pretty stupid to stand behind a reversing trailer. No explanation has been given, but police are treating it as a tragic accident. It wasn't in Christchurch, it was in Kaipara. Later, a story revealed there was no trailer, but the account of the accident was beyond my comprehension and sounded very strange.
It was the tenth anniversary of the Cave Creek disaster this week (where a DOC viewing platform collapsed, killing nearly everyone on it in about a hundred foot fall). Recently the survivor said they were fooling around and jumping up and down, which was interesting.
Wellington Hospital has an infection floating around in the neo-natal unit that has killed three prem babies and they have stopped accepting new arrivals until they have it sorted. Lots of coverage of this, questions like why are they accepting more babies in there when there is such a danger. They gave a bollocks story about explaining the risks to people.
The Civil Union thing began on Friday. The question was asked as to what Civil Union partners are to be called. TV3 suggested instead of "married" they could be "civilised" or "unionised". I suppose you could introduce your civil union partner as your "civilian" or "unionist", but I suppose spouse, wife, and husband would work fine. Still don't really understand why regular couples would choose this method of formalising their relationship, as compared to gay couples who cannot yet legally marry, but apparently eight hetero couples did understand why and did it on the first day, along with about 31 gay couples..
MP Dover Samuels urinated in a hotel corridor in front of a hotel staff member who was trying to open his hotel room. Sounds like he was pretty pissed (cheap pun, I apologise). There's no excuse for it, if he needed to go, I am sure there were public toilets and things elsewhere and he could have gone before he went to sort out the problem with his key. It was later revealed he is suffering from prostate issues, but even so there are plenty of toilets in a hotel. Been a lot of news about inappropriate emptying of the bladder by people lately, I have spared you most of it.
Helen Clark was taking some flak because former Police Commissioner Peter Doone seemed to be reconsidering suing a newspaper that broke the story and suing Clark instead. It was all over him saying "that won't be necessary" to a rookie cop who wanted to breathalyse his partner. The fact is that he did say it, and he shouldn't. Who blew the whistle or told someone about it is irrelevant. If it was untrue, he might have a point.
A woman was found dead in her car in a car park outside the Warehouse in New Lynn.
A ten year old boy was shot by a six year old boy in a hunting accident. No, they weren't out hunting on their own, their clever fathers had raced off to get something they shot and left their loaded guns behind with the two boys. Nice plan. The ten year old is in deep trouble but still alive and it appears he will recover. The high-powered round went right through his body at very close range.
An Auckland man committed three robberies on Friday, and has committed thirteen in total - mostly in central West Auckland. His photos have now been well publicised. He started using a gun on Friday. Police and banks are trying to track the bugger down and be prepared for more.
WORLD NEWS
Doesn't seem like much has been going on overseas, apart from usual stuff about the election in England, exploding Iraqis, and the new Pope.
One thing that caught my eye was that an Oregon man is suing the Hair Club for not telling his there was a nasty growth on his head. He would regularly visit to have his hairpiece reglued over ten years and finally somebody told him. I can sort of see where he is coming from on this, even though it sounds bizarre. If the only people to ever see the top of your head don't tell you, who will?
REAL SPORT
Hannah's team were playing third on the table thing, we worked hard and kept them out uphill for the first half. However, despite having a few chances the opposition scored a goal (that was offside, but it was our ref so we couldn't complain) and we didn't manage to equalise. Our first real loss of the season. We were missing a star winger and one of our key defenders so it wasn't too bad.
Rory's team had the better of the team they played and had about three good chances and about four marginal ones but the other team scored very late in the game from a throw in and they lost 0-1 as well.
SPORT
Chelsea drew 0-0 with Liverpool in their Champs League semi-final. Liverpool fans were whinging that they could win the Champs League and not make it in to next year's competition. It hasn't yet, don't hold your breath, scouses.
Chelsea then beat Bolton 2-0 to clinch the premiership. Man Utd beat Charlton 4-0, Spurs beat Villa 5-1, Fulham upset Everton 2-0, Liverpool drew 1-1 with 'borough. The battle for relegation is very tight, with Norwich, West Brom, Southampton, and Crystal Palace all at the bottom within 1 point of each other. Southampton are playing Palace next weekend and will be a key match.
The Crusaders whupped the Sharks 77-34, the Waratahs popped the Highlanders bubble and beat them 41-20. The Hurricanes played the Brumbies who seem to be in trouble this season, (there were some spectacular tries from the Hurricanes in the second half, the highest score against the Brumbies, ever). The Blues lost to the Bulls 24-38. The Chiefs beat the Stormers 37-34 but are well out of contention. Two games left in round robin, four NZ teams have a chance, but room for three at most. Waratahs are definitely in semis.
Thomas got player of the day in his game, but I don't know if they won, I suspect they didn't.
Not sure when Rory's water polo games start but he has first training with his new school team tomorrow, which he is looking forward to.
MY SAD LIFE
The kids did a few holiday things this week, including ice skating and snowboarding (at Snow Planet, an indoor snow thing near Silverdale).
Diana and the kids also met Sasha 2.0 whilst at Snow Planet, who slept the whole time. Sasha 1.0 still isn't talking.
The family went to see the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy movie on Saturday night, even Hannah enjoyed it. Rory seemed to really enjoy it, he has read the first book and everyone has heard some of the radio play because I have it on my iPod. I think they did a pretty good job of the movie, tweaked the story quite a bit, but I think Douglas Adams would have been happy with it. It is very definitely in a position to move on to a sequel or two, although I suspect it will depart further from the book (let's be honest, the radio play, book, and TV show all contain a number of differing elements in them, so difference is okay).
I did try to give Koos the chance to come with us to the movie, but he left his mobile on the table while he was off shopping for cars with Sjaan. Not sure he quite understands what a mobile is for.
Gavin is planning a trip to Russia. So is Paul. Paul is going first on 20th May or so, to Kiev (I wonder if he will try the local Chicken Kiev, or do they call it Chicken Brisbane?). Gavin is going on June 7th or something to Ekatarenburg or something like that, via Moscow. Bambi went years ago with Lisa. It's a pretty big country, da?
There are workmen doing drain-like work near our house. One of them whistled at Hannah. Not sure anyone in the family is ready for that, just yet. She is only ten.
Saw the Goodins for the first time in absolutely ages. They were away for a week or so, but last time we saw them I didn't (I was in Wellington).
I am off to Wellington on Wednesday to demonstrate some software to a bunch of people. Could be a bit interesting. Kids are most surprised that I am going again, so soon after last trip. Just found out that this includes the Minister. Not sure which Minister (sad, isn't it). Everything I know about LMNP in ten minutes or less. Clothing crisis. Haven't worn a suit for work in years. Only wear it to funerals, don't want to wear it on a plane.
Diana did most of the crossword this week, without me. She did very well, only about seven items not completed. We usually do it together over coffee when the kids are at school, and I do tend to hog it. I finished it off (we don't normally finish it, so that was good).
Diana is back into work this week, first proper week of it. Kids are back to school today. The house is strangely quiet.
RANDOM STUFF THAT ESCAPED MY CRANIUM, ORALLY (AND NOW IN WRITING)
I am not sure that anybody should read this bit, even I think it is just silly.
From the "Even if you thought it, you shouldn't admit it to anybody" department. I apologise for the excessive use of speech marks in this, but it can't be helped.
Remember the "never lose sight of your rubber dog pooh" thing, well this phrase got me thinking :
"Oh, they're from Guam. That's why they're wearing pajamas."
It's another one that you wouldn't really expect to hear more than once. If you say something that you think is unique in the world, search on Google for it (in speech marks). If you don't find it, then you could be a) the first person to say it, or at least b) the first person to search for it on Google. I wonder if you could somehow copyright these sentences and charge people who subsequently use it. Can't see many people wanting to use "Oh, they're from Guam. That's why they're wearing pyjamas" very often, but who really knows. Try and use this in polite conversation, without other participants thinking you are bonkers. I might give a prize to someone who can.
FUN WITH GOOGLE
The lateness of the email today and concern from a number of people reminds me of an old joke. Google search on the words tapeworm, boiled egg, and joke if you want to know what I mean,
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