Haven't seen a paper this morning, so my news may be a little out of date (well, in terms of what happened two days ago).
LOCAL NEWS
A few years ago the Green Party lost voters by the thousand by boogying to hippy tunes at a conference. This week, two government ministers boogied for some ungodly reason (and it really was a crime against god). If the voiceover had described the scene as government ministers being tasered, we would have believed them. It was truly shocking. The news shows repeated the footage over and over again.
A local doctor has been banned from performing vasectomies after three failed on two men. I mean, let's think about this for a second. One guy got two failed vasectomies from the same Doctor. So, a guy botches your vasectomy so you go back to the same Doctor? Hello? Worse, these three failures resulted in three pregnancies. Again, please explain why you wouldn't consider having a test to prove you were shooting blanks if the same Doctor didn't get it right the first time. And what exactly did he cut and tie a knot it? That is what worries me. I mean, how can you miss? He has been banned from performing them for three years.
This week, this country's leaders continued to duke it out. Darth Helen described Don Brash as "cancerous", "corrosive" and various other things beginning with the letter "c". She and Pete Hodgson (now known as the Minister for Breakdancing While Being Tasered) suggested the National Party needs a new leader. Not sure if it is reverse psychology or what. We also got continuing crap about the Closed Brethren and how they supposedly spied on Darth Helen. Also, Don Brash ordered the Young Nats to remove a cartoon of Helen as Darth Vader (so it's not just me that sees the resemblance to a sith lord).
As for Peter Davis (Darth Helen's hubby) kissing a man, it turns out the man in the photo was Darth Helen.
News presenter for TV3, Clint Brown, was in an altercation with some normal people about a week ago and it appears that he got a little too carried away. It seems there is a very good chance he will be looking for a new career. Booze is not the friend of public people in public places.
Carpet manufacturer Feltex was put into receivership this week. They've been in trouble for a while. There is quite a bit of controversy around it, the company was only recently re-floated in the last couple of years.
It is multiple birth awareness week. So, you must increase your awareness of twins and triplets. Not at all sure why. I think Loud Shirt Day was more interesting.
WORLD NEWS
We got lots of coverage and updates on Richard Hammond, the Top Gear presenter who crashed in a jet propelled car. He seems to be on the road to recovery. Rory really enjoys Top Gear, as do I.
REAL SPORT
Hannah is in the middle of a large under 12 water polo tournament. On day one they played one of the best teams in their pool. They were 0-4 down at half time but came back to draw 4-4. Their other two games were more one-sided affairs, winning 13-0 and 16-0. Hannah got herself three goals in the 16-0 game, she was pretty pleased, she only had three shots at goal.
They won all their games on Sunday, 15-0, 8-3, 8-1, and 17-0. Hannah scored another four goals, didn't miss a shot. She just improved over the day before. I know we are biased but she has been incredibly solid.
Today is the final day, they can come anywhere between 1st and 4th, depending on how they go.
SPORT
In rugby, Auckland beat Otago 48-7, Waikato beat Wellington 37-21, and Tasman beat Northland 56-15. The really big news in rugby is that North Harbour beat Canterbury 21-17, in itself not earth shattering. The big thing is that it was a shield defence match and Harbour has taken the old Log of Wood for the first time in their 21 year history. Ten years ago, I vividly remember Harbour's nightmare run when they played the team that had just won the Shield three times in a row and lost all three times.
The NRL League Grand Final is next weekend, Melbourne Storm versus Brisbane Broncos. No Sydney teams in it, interesting.
Europe has won the Ryder Cup over the USA. Tiger Woods always plays like crap in this.
Newcastle drew 1-1 with Everton on goals and red cards. Liverpool beat Spurs 3-0, Arsenal beat Sheffield Wednesday on Saturday 3-0, Villa beat Charlton 2-0, Man Utd managed a 1-1 draw with lowly Reading, Chelsea didn't score against Fulham until late in the game but won 2-0.
MY SAD LIFE
I think many friends do not believe us when we say that we are busy on weekends and that we say so to avoid them or something. But this weekend, for example we had games at 12:30, 2:30, and 4:30 on Saturday and 10, 12, 2, and 4 on Sunday.
While we were at the water polo, Rory spent the weekend playing on the xBox in his underpants. That sounds wrong. He was wearing underpants while he played on the xBox. The xBox wasn't in Rory's underpants, there just wouldn't be room, and it would be silly.
This week I actually swam four times, doing 5km in a week for the first time in ages. I just haven't been able to manage it. I still slipped in a soccer meeting on Tuesday night as well.
You should have seen Diana's face on Sunday morning when I suggested Rory's hair was growing back straight. It was not a happy face. She threatened to kill me and Rory if it did grow back straight. I have witnesses (Hannah, if she was paying attention).
Gavin starts a new job today, working at a company that has been client of mine for 15 years or so. That will be kind of funny, although he doesn't work in an area that I have much to do with.
Diana has this week off after working full days for the last two weeks.
We saw Bambi and the girls on Saturday, at the pool. He's off on Wednesday to China for his semi-controlled explosion competition. He's thinking about buying a pyrotechnic company, but it is a long-shot. It is a sort of boom or bust business, that could easily go off with a bang or up in smoke (sorry, but it's really hard to resist).
We are beginning to wonder if people really believe us when we say we are busy on weekends or if they think we are avoiding them. I managed to go visit Paul for a short time between games on Sunday but proper socialisation is problematic. The next two weekends are going to be quite the opposite, which should be good.
Despite being tired from all her polo, Hannah has been very cheerful. She seems to be really enjoying it.
We are off to exotic Orewa for a few days, we desperately need a break.
Well, that sums it up for this week.
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