There a lots of headings today, not sure why, but they seem appropriate. An attempt at the world's longest email (as a ratio to the boredom it generates)
LOCAL NEWS
Two trucks beat up on each other this week, causing mayhem. Just before the holiday period a couple of ladies tried to turn into a marae (as in make a turn, not transform) and a campervan had other ideas and turned them into statistics.
Cabinet Minister Steve Maharey said "f&*k you" in parliament this week, blaming an equipment malfunction (ie. the microphone was turned on). Perhaps it was a brain malfunction.
A pensioner vigilante in New Lynn foiled a robbery of a dairy by whacking him with a magazine stand. Impressive. The dairy owner made him buy thirteen copies of the Trade and Exchange afterwards.
Just for a change we had the usual crap about who was open for business on Good Friday. It is pathetic and the Government should sort it out. Websites can still trade.
The cost of streaking has gone up. Not really something that will impact my lifestyle.
An obviously retarded woman wondered how a $4000 holiday on her credit card eight years ago could turn into $47,000. Perhaps if she paid the card off eight years ago she would not have had such a practical lesson in the joys of compound interest.
Couple more injuries at speedways over the weekend but nothing fatal.
A badminton event in Christchurch had 60 people suffering from diarrhoea and vomiting, not good. At least in cricket you want more runs.
Two women were molested sexually, one in Christchurch, one in Wellington. All the more reason for our view contained later in this email.
DID YOU KNOW?
The 7th April is believed to be the date Jesus died? I mean, everyone knows the date he was born, but nobody knows the other one. Interesting really.
WORLD NEWS
The 15 British marines were released by Iran this week. It wasn't really very interesting, even when they were held captive.
There was an earthquake and tsunami that hit the Solomon Islands. There was some damage but a good bit of detritus was also removed.
REAL SPORT
The senior polo boys had their last Wednesday training this week. I think I am relieved. I did score a goal with my left hand, though, and got one past Rory in goal from beyond half way. I had fun, for an old person.
Hannah had interschool cricket on Tuesday, weather was great for it. I umpired four of the games. Hannah's team won four games and drew one, winning the tournament (there were only six teams).
Hannah had a soccer friendly on Saturday, which we couldn't see because we were weddinging (is that a word?). Her team lost 2-6 but she scored both goals.
SPORT
The Black Caps won their match against Bangladesh, the Poms lost to Sri Lanka. It really is dragging out, this World Cup. The Bangladeshis beat the South Africans in a surprise result, although they can be dangerous at times.
The Aussies are cruising to a win against England as I finish this off.
Man Utd lost against AS Roma 1-2, having ten men for most of the match after Paul Scholes was sent off. They then lost 1-2 to lowly Portsmouth on the weekend. Arsenal lost to West Ham and Chelsea beat Spurs. "Squeaky bum time" is producing some interesting results.
Blues beat the Cheetahs 26-8. The Crusaders then completed routed the Western Force (top placed Australian team) 53-0 (not nice, very embarrassing). The Chiefs had a much-needed win over the Highlanders 38-34. The Waratahs got thumped by the Brumbies and the Reds were towelled by the Sharks (I think). Not a great weekend for Aussie teams.
MY SAD LIFE
I think it is best to describe my life in the last week or so as "event driven". Not much has been done without the need to do so for a particular event. Mind you, some of the events have been artificially induced, mostly by my son...
We saw Gavin, Yana, and bump on Friday. Bump is growing and according to the evidence supplied by the scan is likely to be a girl bump. They had a 4D scan. Not sure what this means, sounds like it gives you their grades at school or something (I thought the fourth dimension was time).
We went out to dinner with the Goodins and Paul on Friday night, without children. Was a very good night, food was good. Had a few laughs. Was a good change of pace and distraction for Paul (see next paragraph for why).
Paul's grandmother, Nan, is not well. I don't know her latest status but our thoughts are with Olwyn especially (Nan is her Mum), and the family. Nan is due to turn 100 in August.
It was Brett's birthday on Saturday. April, not February. I don't know where the heck that came from.
Rory entered the entire lyrics from "Bohemian Rhapsody" into his phone and sent it to people as a 13-message text. Well, at least it kept him off the streets (for a short while).
As Diana rightly pointed out, we always get better behaviour from one child when the other one is in trouble. This weekend has been no exception.
Nanny has been playing with her new cell phone. We got a text the other day that said "..wt.jp0g". We were at dinner so we got kids to call her to make sure things were okay. Some lessons may be called for.
On Sunday we went to a casual after-match function at Matt & Kristy's. We looked at the photos, and watched the video. We brought the kids with us, they didn't attend the wedding (although Rory nearly did, in the boot of the car, see below).
The kids are on holiday for next two weeks.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
Rory was asked if he knew how to order pizza. Answer: "Not for real, but I have crank called for it before."
THE WEDDING
Well, Matt & Kristy's wedding went very well, all things considered. I was a little optimistic about having some spare time on the day between the initial delivery run and things proper, but we had enough time to get everything done. The venue was very close to Bambi's house. The grounds were very impressive, with a large wide staircase then sweeping curve down to the pond where the ceremony was held. Diana worked pretty hard helping to get things ready, too.
I did manage to take a few photos (Nearly 350. Diana took some too). Matt has loaded a few photos on to a web site here:
http://dr-maul.com/blog/cpg147/thumbnails.php?album=7&page=5
Juliet, Kristy's daughter, now calls Matt "Dad" and had a lovely time at the wedding, managing to get more photos taken of her than any other person. They had the Nairobi Trio (a quartet, it's got to be good value) playing for most of the day/night. The photographer was very good working the crowd (I hope his photos are good, too). Kristy's Dad, Andrew, made a short but very touching speech, and Matts speech was also very good. Kristy didn't say anything, but I think she should have (although the old joke is that it's the last chance the groom has to get a word in edge-wise).
THE GIFT
Normally a wedding present wouldn't attract much attention (unless it was a particularly large toaster). However, Lance gave Matt and Kristy something a little extraordinary. A photo, of himself, looking deep and thoughtful. He made the frame himself, with purple fur, stars, and glitter. He signed the front and put a pretty funny piece on the back also.
You can see the happy couple, the photo, and Lance in the background here:
http://dr-maul.com/blog/cpg147/displayimage.php?album=7&pos=67
THE BOY
Well, a certain number one son was cruising towards a somewhat lower standing this week. He went "for a run" on Thursday night, and it was completely obvious that running he wasn't. He has been for runs before and they take about ten minutes. The parental rat-smelling radar knew something was up after 45 minutes, and after being lightly quizzed upon his return he was quizzed rather more the next morning. He can't lie to save himself so we figured it out pretty quickly. He had been to "visit" XXXX (a person of the female persuasion that I cannot name because information could be passed to the wrong persons and I have to, for some reason, protect the guilty). Friday night he wanted to go again, and against our better judgement we agreed, with a strict time limit (on the basis that knowing what was going on was better than subterfuge). This time limit was studiously ignored and breached by about two hours. Wandering the streets at 1am in the morning is not a good long term plan for young teenagers. The following morning he was rudely awakened (in many ways) and informed that such a blatant ignoring of the agreed terms was likely to cramp his lifestyle considerably. He was closely monitored on Saturday by Hannah and my mother while we were out. We face the moral dilemma that we knew what was going on, and that XXXX's parents did not (she was escaping after lights out). Informing them of the goings on is possibly slightly worse than not informing them, but if it was our daughter we would want to know. He wanted to repeat the exercise last night, we refused. Very tricky, but that is a major reason why we are not going to agree to these nocturnal walkabouts in future.
That's it for now.
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